A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night i spent them most amazing night of my life with a guy ive liked for ages now. It was just like we were going out (although we were both drinking and he said he probs wont remember it in the morning) however in the morning he woke up and came and gave me a kiss so he did remember. When he went home this mornig his m8 told me that he thought it was fun but doesnt wana go out with me. How can i win him as he is the love of my life seriously hes my world. I WILL absolutely apprecaite any advice help given to me asap!thnk u soooooooooooo much Heart broken xxxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): He told you it was just fun the whole time. You were 100% aware of it going in. (That's actually a BIG mark of decency on his part. Nobody likes being told their sex isn't ever gonna be serious, but it's a lot more respectful than being lied to about it.)
What now? There's several options but none are what you want to hear.
Yu two can not make any more of this and just leave it alone from now on. (It might be the easist on everyone in the long run.)
You can also continue to sleep with him "just for fun." No strings. It's a nice idea but good luck actually staying that way without wanting more.
You can also choose to keep sleeping with him as a sex buddy even though you want more. It's probably not a good idea but it happens all the time.
You can let yourself get hurt by this all you want and it's still zero percent his fault. If you're really trying to get him to "owe" you a relationship by sleeping with him, then you're using sex to manipulate and guilt-trip him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): i understand how you feel! im seeing this guy. as far as hes concerned its just fun an friendship! but i want so much more! so i keep meeting him an sleeping with him in the hope his feeling will change! but im realising i dont think they will. he really confuses me because he had a girlfriend when we met an finisht with her soon after! so obviosly i thought that was a good sign but hes been very distant the last few days an i txt him this morning an askt if he wants to meet up soon.. an he txtbk saying 'i dont know' so my advice to you is ye u can keep sleeping with him in the hope his feeling mite change but in my experiance they probely wont. sorry huni i know it hurts. bcos im hurting aswel id do anything to have him properly! xxx
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A
female
reader, carebearer +, writes (2 July 2007):
Awwwww, most of us have been in some similar situation and my honest advice would be to try and take your mind off him. From past experiences I have never seeen a guy who says he had fun but doesnt want a relationship suddenly turn around and 360. he may have only ever wanted a drunken tumble, especially as he excused himself from commitment befroe sleeping with (with "Im so drunk I probably wont remeber this in the morning").Be glad that you know that he doesnt want a relationship with him cos at least you know where you stand. I'd advice you against sleeping with him again unless you are 100% sure you can turn off your emotions and not expect anything back. It's best to try and start to idiolise yourself, that way you can start to expect (and meet) a guy who likes you, and can describe a night you describe as "the most amazing night in your life" as more than just "fun". You should be most important in your world, never a guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): Relationships are so amazing but when we want more than is available we become so desperate to solve the issue. Yes you had a good time and now he does not want to take if further. You want to win him over, Let him win you over because it sounds as if he likes you but maybe he's not ready for a serious relationship, build on what you've got as friends and you wish may come true. Love is beautiful when two people share the same feelings. Take care of your broken heart.
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A
male
reader, Love is me  +, writes (1 July 2007):
the truth is i think he likes you but problem is maybe he doesn't think that you are the same, take him out again be careful this ones risky but if it works it will work out great, if it don't it could scar the relationship. see how he reacts try to show him that theres more to you and your feelings for him he needs to know you care and that he is your world, TELL HIM and do it well tell him that he's the sun and your the earth its a metephor for 'he lights your way in life', be emotional i've had a few sucker relationships and i've had a few good ones and being sensitive and emotional means a lot. theres a way that i hold my girl she feels warm and wanted and i tell her she's the one evan now i'm holding a tear back because i feel great with my girlfriend and i wish the feeling for everyone, so show him you need him cry if needed but cry gently he may be a hardnut or a softie but deep down everyone needs love and a man needs to be given obvious clues to love, if its true and pure express yourself but in a way he's gonna want you, if not then please remember love is out there for everyone be creative My motto Love and let love, Give and take love is all xxx
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A
female
reader, nikki! +, writes (1 July 2007):
 hey the same thing happened to me i had a one night stand with someone i idolised and i just tried to make my self seem epeiling and eventally he asked me out but after two months he finished me so make sure hes the right one xx
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A
female
reader, becka4dale +, writes (1 July 2007):
 hiyai think you should confront him and tell him it was th best night of your life and how much you like him and see what he says maybe he likes you but hes just to scared to say just see what happens when you say thathope it helps from beck
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A
female
reader, Beckah +, writes (1 July 2007):
 This is a horrible feeling for anyone to have to endure, and i hope you come to a solution but in answer to your question. If you want me to be honest, you can't win someone over by pretending to be something other than what you are. If he doesn't love you back, or want to be in a relationship with you now then i very much doubt your attitude will change his opinion. I know and realise that you are hurting but you can't force someone to have feelings for you, and as much as we would all love for people to express themselves as fluently sober as they do drunk, it just simply doesnt happen does it? I suggest that you just be yourself and perhaps focus on the friendship in quiet hope that something will develop further one day. And not jus because you want it, but because he does too. That is about all the advice i can give you. But i will add one thing..Don't be a fool or push over to him, it's easy to become his toy. If you feel these strong feelings i'm sure having him one night felt like heaven and you'd do it all over again, but don't sacrifice who you are and realise that he might just be out for what he can get. If that is the case then your feelings aren't going to be returned!Hope my advice has helped...xxx
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