A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to some guy and now he doesn't want to talk to me because he saw me holding hands with my friend and he got all pissed off now he won't talk to me...Its been about a week or so and hes still mad at me which i do not know what to do please help me!I really like him i mean i have like strong feelings for him and i really want him back please help!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Sorry hun opposite sex "friends" don't hold hands unless one of them is gay. How would you feel if you had seen the same thing?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): heey :) just explain to him that its a good friend and that you dont go out with them and that you dont want to fall out because he means alot to you then kiss him
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 January 2011):
 I do try not to jump to conclusions or fly off the handle. So, I'm sitting here wondering if I can write this in a nice way. I feel you need some correction in your understanding of what has happened in this "relationship". I use the term relationship to mean the interactions you have had with this man and not to suggest a level of intimacy that is obviously not there.
This is "some guy" you have been talking to. Not a guy that you have been dating, or hanging out with or have a committed relationship with. You may have strong feelings for him but you likely have no idea what his feelings for you are.
He is not invested in you. He has nothing to lose. Has he invested money or time into the relationship with you? Talking and even flirting, are nothing. Something happened to make him decide not to get closer to you. It could be the hand holding, but I don't think so. It could also be that he decided you are not what he was looking for. Or, he may have got a better offer.
In the end you can not get him "back", because you never had him. You have no ownership of him nor any right to his attention. Your strong feelings should have been expressed before he went looking elsewhere.
Now for the disclaimer:
This opinion, like many others here is based on the very short story you told us. If there are facts that you know, that you haven't shared with us, or if there are facts you are unaware of, these opinions could be completely wrong.
FA
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Are you really 18-21? This sounds more like a younger person's dilemma. Give him time to recover, be sure you don't hint at things you don't mean to do and maybe he'll come around. If not, you've just experienced a life lesson.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 January 2011):
 I'm assuming this friend you were holding hands with happens to be male? I'm not too into hand holding but when I do it's with someone I'm into or my boyfriend.
However, in your defense..this guy is NOT your boyfriend and has no right to be jealous over you holding hands with your guy friend. His jealousy is a early red flag, that leads to possessiveness and trust issues. In other words, a very rocky relationship if you two do end up together.
Have you tried apologizing or explaining why you were holding hands with your friend? If he doesn't accept it, then there's nothing more you can do. Just give him more time, he may come around. If not, then you're really better off.
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A
female
reader, Napalm_Angelripper  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 It really depends on what kind of person you are. Personally, if I saw my boyfriend holding hands with another girl, Id be pretty pissed. But thats because my boyfriend is pretty reserved and isnt happy go lucky like that ... if he were to hold hands with a girl, it would be because he has romantic feelings towards her ... hes just not the kind of guy to up and go hold any girls hand just like that.
ALl this basically to say, everyone views hand holding as something different. If it meant nothing to you, and thats just how you are, explain it to him. He might not see it the same way, and might think of holding hands as an exclusive thing between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, like my bf and I see it.
No ones really at fault here ... it just seems to be a misunderstanding. I hope all goes well for you. If he doesnt accept your answer, then unfortunately theres nothing else you can do. You will just have to move on.
Best of luck to ya,
-The Resident Metalhead
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A
male
reader, rouge +, writes (25 January 2011):
 This guy has problems. He need to lighten up because if your not in a relationship with him then you can do anything you want with whoever you want so tell him how you feel then if he is still mad he is not worth it. hope this helps.;)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (25 January 2011):
 If he's this immature about a girl he just likes, he will be a controlling nightmare of a boy in a relationship! Look at this as a big red warning flag and don't pursue this pathetic excuse for a man any further.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (25 January 2011):
Holding hands is a pretty clear sign of affection. I don't do that with "friends". So, even if this was just a friend, I can totally understand why the guy you like was offended. You might not be able to get him back, I'm sorry to say. Trust has become an issue.
I'm not trying to preach, but I notice this quite a bit when I date younger women. I think the younger crowd has further blurred the line between friendships and romantic relationships. Displays of affection like this, kissing on the cheek, or use of the word love are some examples. Late teens & early 20-somethings tend to do these things freely with friends, and it can give the wrong impression. The lesson here is to be careful what you do!
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