A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I love a foreign woman who's only reason for being in America is that she is married. She's explained numerous times that its a casual marriage, and that he has his own lover(s) *I do not ask that many questions on the subject*. I know, though, that she does love him... and she relies on him for numerous things. She lives but one state away, and I have no clue where to go from here. I know she's tried to have a kid with him, and, that she can no longer -have- children. I fear, and am slowly bracing myself for, an eventual impasse. She's had a very ugly past, and I don't want to make it tougher on her than it has to be. I won't ask if I'm wrong in loving her. Tell me, though, should I break it off now? Do I have any hope? I know that I shouldn't, but, I guess I have to hear it from somebody else. Please give me your opinions at least, even if you don't have a real answer. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Snowshoe  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Strangely I was once in a similiar position as you. While I have nothing truly sage to add I will say that you will be better off ending things and moving on.
You will look back at your time with her more fondly if you are able to allow the relationship limitations to be what they are and not kick against the pricks as it were.
Let the romantic in you accept that it was a great experience. Let the pragmatist in you accept that love should be a relationship that flows freely in both directions. Relationships are hard enough without adding the extenuating circumstances that you have described.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, nanie20 +, writes (25 January 2011):
 I think the healthy thing to do here to for you to let her go and end it. If she loves him she is never going to leave him is harsh but true. You are just waisting your time talking to her and you are hurting your self. Just try to date other people OR talk to her and let her know where you stand and ask her is she'll ever have a serious relationship with you and leave her husband...GOOD LUCK..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): well...you said...she is trying to get pregnant...and she had ugly past...that means you know almost everything about her...and she is still married...You are in love with her...she doesn't...move on and see for a girl for you.
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