A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really confused. I have split with a long term partner. An old admirer has neen in touch, texting every day, bringing lunch over and flirting by hugging touching my hair etc. I felt a little overwhelmed by his attention and said I needed to take things slowly. Then he said we can begin as good friends with no hidden agenda .What does he mean?
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male
reader, quarky  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 yeah, I agree- I think he's probably doing the sensible thing to do!
He's taking it slow-wants to be a friend first and foremost and take it from there-if something more comes of it, all the better!
In my opinion getting to know someone as a friend first can result in a better relationship, should that happen. I think it'
cos you can talk about things more openly, without worrying about impressing. Less pressure.
Take it step by step, be yourself, and best of luck!
A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt +, writes (12 July 2009):
 I think he means that you can be friends with no hidden motives of wanting to take it any further.Take it slowly if your not too ready to be in a relationship again and don't get pushed into anything before your ready to begin a relationship again.Hope this helps :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): Well, I think he is trying to say he wants to start being your friend without any hidden agendas.
However, I think he wants to be more than friends from his actions, don't you? He wants you to trust him obviously and is saying he isn't going to push you into something you don't want too fast...so hold him to his promise and take things slowly..You are right if you just ended a long term romance you need a friend right now, not another romance. That would be rebounding to someone else to avoid dealing with your feelings of grief and loss from your past relationship. Take time to heal and this relationship will be more likely to blossom and last if it becomes romantic.
Take care of you!
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