A
female
age
36-40,
*hanths
writes:There is a guy who i believe is my soulmate. Here is the history... We were in primary school and high school together. We spoke 4the 1st time in matric..finally! He said he has always liked me but too shy to talk to me. Anyway, it was great. We got along well. Then, his parents found out and wanted us to stop talking 4fear of our relationship interfering with school. Anyway, we remained as friends during uni. He told me two yrs ago that he still liked me. Wow! but the next day, he said he was afraid to pursue a relationship as i am his best friend, and he would dread losing me. I was heartbroken. I told him i would always like him and that it would b hard being his friend. So i told him i cant speak to him anymore. It was so hard, but i had to 4my sanity. Anyway, we started talking again last year. Things were ok. It then progressed... We started flirting and it seemed things were happening all over again. We got really close, spent time together. But we never kissed. Anyway, he then told me he met someone else. I was shattered. I was angry too, i mean, we have come a long way. So we decided to b friends. But i distanced myself. I cared for him truly, i gave him space. That happened in March. We spoke casually since then. Anyway, a week ago, he txtd me and said that he feels so guilty 4hurting me all the years. That he cant forgive himself. That we cant b friends anymore, cos we r so different. Then he says he loves me, and goodbye. Aaarg! We r very different, but that doesnt change much between us? I have waited so long 4him to say those words, even if it was over text. He is a very shy guy. He has never had a girlfriend b4, and we havent ever made out in the 5 years of us being close. I replied to his text, told him i love him too, and that we need to talk face to face. He hasnt replied, and i dont think he will. I feel he does love me, but y doesnt he want to c me, or even b my friend anymore!? i dont know what to do... Advice, please!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): loneranger484 i have exsperienced a genuine soulmate marriage. and until you have recieved one,its hard to put into words,how real,and over powering the feelings are. but just like being run over by a train,there is no dought,its real! i meet my soulmate,in 1984. she worked at l.b. cont.term. b-246 l.b.ca. i hauled ship cont.s,i noticed her the first day she worked there,and there was something,musterious about her? 2yrs.pasted before i got the chance to really talk to her.we talked for about a hour ,the lunch truck came ,so as she started to walk away,i asked her for her name? she stopped ,looked back over her shoulder,and said :sandra.. my heart leaped,like awakening ,and it said ,i know that name!! its been written ,on my heart,for hundreds of years!!! i didnt get a chance to talk to her,again,except doing business. time passed,iknew,she knew iwas married. but she didnt know,it was a bad marriage,i would leave in a minute. then one day ,i came to turn in a container,she was at the window,giving me my paperwork.i was looking into her eyes,the pupils would get so big ,i could look inside,and step through ,into paridise!! as i looked ,i saw a flickering light darting around,behind her. all of a sudden ,a bright, glowing,ball of light,appeared behind her,it came in a perfect arch,up over her head,stopped right above us,as i looked ,i saw the samething,come from behind me,the two joined togeather...and i felt totally complete.! with her.!i felt a love,and closeness ,i had never had ,with anyone,before...that was 11/8/88. each day ,it grew stronger. but she started dating,a guy,who could give her,money,and security. i know how good that might look. but it cant make you,happy! you just fool ,yourself,.you just have a lot of stuff! anyhow,they got engaged.i got told to ,go away... i thought ,if we are real soulmates? when she gets married,something,will happen!i will feel it.!? i made sure i didnt know ,when. so its sunday,im sitting in church,and the deeps depression,came over me,like i was under going a anistetic before a operation.then,at the rib cage below my heart. i fealt the presure of something,about the size of a water glass,turn around about 3 times.the piece was removed,and it felt like water running out!and i knew what was happening!!she was leavng,and i wanted so desperately to stop her,but i couldnt!!!! now,its 20yrs.she has3kids,all the material things,she wanted. i tried to reconect with her,recently,via,facebook. and she wont say,one word,to me! for me it was forever! and i just cant let it ,go. so ill back off,and wait , i dont want to scare her,or make her feel threatened ,in anyway. if she would only,tell me,why she is so angry?i would move,heaven&earth to try to make it,right!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): i think your bestfriend does truly like you truly deeply cares for you but i also think hes afraid of jepoardising you's our frindship if it didnt work out cause yous are so different thats wat i think in anyway
hope it works out for yeah
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A
female
reader, Shanths +, writes (18 July 2009):
Shanths is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u JasonX. I have told him about him+ hiding his feelings. Bt hey, i guess time will tell... Im trying that age old saying 'If u love someone, let them go, if they come back, then they r meant to be with u. '
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): Soulmate, hmmm....I can't say that I "believe" in it, but English has only so many words to express how much I may love someone so I will prolly end up saying the word ;).
So lets see. To be honest there is nothing you can do for now. You just have to be patient and see if he will find the courage to act on his feelings. He needs to realize that hiding his feelings and generally being too shy isn't going to get him anywhere in life.
But yeah I don't think there is anything you can really do...you can try to call him yourself if you find that he is taking too long. Ask him if he is going to act on his feelings and what not...else it's looking like you are going to be waiting for a long long time for this guy, soul mate or not.
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A
female
reader, Shanths +, writes (17 July 2009):
Shanths is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thank u 4the advice! It is quite constructive. I read the page, and i understand it well. I am not an idealist when it comes to relationships, though. And i do quite like imperfection :-) Anyway, i think im just confused with his behaviour. How does one say they love u, and then just disappear from your life??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001123.cfm
Take time to read the above article on soul-mateism.
I don't believe in soul mates. I believe in deep connections between people are possible, but the idea that you will be loved "perfectly" by one true soul mate is an unrealistic expectation that finds many couples splitting up even after marriage due to the invariable conflicts that life brings to all marriages.
What this man's purpose in your life as a soul-mate was to be your supporter and friend, not your boyfriend or lover, and now he has found someone else you said?? Don't be mad or sad or anything but grateful for the time you shared in your life and how this person impacted your life positively.
Keep following your own life's path and keep your heart open as there are many, many soul mates out there for all of us.
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