A
female
age
36-40,
*rettyprincess
writes:I like this guy and he said he's beginning to like me too..but the problem is he has a wife and a child..what am i going to do?..should i believe him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxmissxx  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 I say, instead of assuming things wont work out (probably wont but...), make sure first as hes admitted he likes u!
Ask him out-right first if hes in love with his wife and ask him what he thought was going to happen after he told u he liked u!
If he says he loves his wife then you were just an infatuation.
If he says he doesnt, however, you two need to discuss what he wants to do.....
stay with his wife for security or persue a new relationship with you!
A
female
reader, got some sense now  +, writes (23 September 2007):
Hello,
My advise to you is run while you can. Run as far away as you can. Married men never leave their wives. I know because I dated a married man for almost 3 years and he was divorcing his wife for the whole three years. Please do not waste any precious time on him. If he wanted to be single he should have never gotten married. I am not bitter towards married men but like I said I got caught up in a reckless relationship and you just dont know how much it hurts to be just pushed to the side like some sideline ho. Remember Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, sue23 +, writes (23 September 2007):
You are going to go through some hard hellified, unforgettible, miserible, and terrible times in your life because if he is married and has no considered devorce plan to be the side woman he may spend alot of time with u but he will most definatley take care of home first and you will hurt the woman and there children. Prepare to suffer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): You are going to go through some hard hellified, unforgettible, miserible, and terrible times in your life because if he is married and has no considered devorce plan to be the side woman he may spend alot of time with u but he will most definatley take care of home first and you will hurt the woman and there children. Prepare to suffer.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 You are going to be your own worst enemy withthat attitude. That is also what youll use for an excuse if your fail. so, in order to suceed you have to agree that the moral thing to so is to stay away for the guy. When you do that, it's over. You have to remember what you're doing is unjust and really a rotten act that you would not want someone to do to you. Would you want someone to do that to your daughter, sister, mother???
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A
female
reader, prettyprincess +, writes (21 September 2007):
prettyprincess is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for those who answered my question..you helped me a lot..hope i could simply do what you guys advised me..however,its not easy to leave him..mostly when i know in myself that i cant!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): All these people gave you awesome advice. Take it from the women who have been through it. You will always come last and it will NEVER end up the way you want it. And you will feel guilty as hell. Think about his kid if no one else. Find a nice, available man who can give you his entire life..not just the few minutes when he can sneak off to cheat on his wife. Plus what is it saying about this man? You may feel special cuz he said he liked you but come on. He is obviously a worm of a man for trying to go behind his wife's back and using you to do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): How could you believe him?
I mean...he's not trustworthy. What kinda man would begin something on the side? He can't even commit to making and adult decision based on respect for another person.
You would be inviting in heartache if you pursue this man. Please be smart and take care of yourself.
Don't be part of the problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): Ok let me ask you something...do you want to be alone on your birthday because he's with his wife? Do you want to spend Xmas alone because he can't possibly let the children down? Do you want to wait and wait for his call only to be let down because his mother in law came around and he couldn't sneak off to call you? Do you want to lose your self esteem when he makes false promises of love to you and leaving them but 'just can't do it to them' yet? Do you want to be fed the crumbs that are left when (quite rightly) the whole loaf went to his family? Do you want to look at happy couples with children and imagine what he is doing for the weekend while your heart is with him and unable to be free for many single and available men that would love you properly? I cannot tell you the pain of being the other woman but if you want to be an emotional wreck go right ahead and get involved but I wouldn't just walk away I'd run.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (21 September 2007):
Sometimes it is easy to judge people. People who make poor choices allow themselves to be part of the problem. They often try to justify the pain they cause based on the pain they suffered. Life doesn't work like that. You reap what you sow. People who become the mistress or lover get what they deserve, nothing. When you take that part, you're entitled to nothing and only get what the married cheater has time to throw you. Over time, many people who are involved in these dirty romances begin to think they're entitled to "feelings" because they're part of the picture. They are actually entitled to their own feelings but they don't hold much weight. They are not as valuable to the big picture as the commitment the married person should have to the spouse and kids.
Although the third person in the relationship begins to feel like they are very important, they are actually only very important in act of betrayal. When you agree to jump into an rotten mess with both feet, it's hard to have sympathy for the third person when they find themselves left out.
So my question is this. If you know he's married and has a family, what right do you have to be in his life, bed, future? At this point you deserve to be with someone who is available. You know the risks and consequences that face you. Do you want to have integrity or do the wrong thing?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 September 2007):
 He is only looking for sex, he is a cheater and a cad. Leave him alone or you will be responsible for a lot of pain and that would include hurting yourself. Hold yourself in higher esteem.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (21 September 2007):
 no.... absolutely not!
and i'm not a narrow minded hypocryte who thinks it's easy to judge because i have had experience in having an affair with a married man and i promise you one thing, you will always be last on his list of prioroties and he won't leave his wife, even if he swears blind that he will.
leave well alone before you fall in love and beleive me, it happens, because it hurts alot worse the more into your relationship you get. also consider his wife, she'll be none the wiser and then you'll feel guilty.
think yourself lucky to have this chance to walk away.
good luck
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