A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel he doesn't love me as much as I love him. Does anyone else have this problem, or am I just overreacting? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Unfortunatley relationships can be a battle, figuring out who and what your partner wants is like drawing blood out of a stone ( majority of them), men are less emotional that is what it boils down to, and if us women decide to confront them about it we get accused of moaning, then we look desperate. Each relationship differs, but one thing i have learnt in this situation is to stop blaming them, and look at what the real problem is? Is it you have a low self esteem? what has happened for you to become dependant on your b/f's consent reassurance? use your time and energy more effectivly, find a hobby? go out with friends? sooner or later he will realise that you have a life outside the relationship and he will miss you. You seems like you have lost yourself in this realtionship take time to find yourself again!!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): i have the same problem too...i have known my bf for a year but i can honestly say i dont really know him or only know what he wants me too.
i read all the books, went to a shrink, actually did everything not to ruine our relationship...but i want him to show me how much he cares, how much he loves me, how much he appreciates me. he says he does, and he needs me; but i doubt it alot and mostly burst in a rage and breakup with him for months. but eventually he initiates the reconciliation. are all women with low self esteem? are we all obsessive lovers?
when i confront him he says that the only thing he can do is withdrawl till i return back normal lol....im not crazy, i just get upset because i give so much affection and energy and there is no feedback from him!!!! men are soooo vague, how do they think???? how do they love???? are they genuine when it comes to love????
help me understand...he's driving me crazy
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 I had the same problem with my b/f but after being together now almost 3 yrs. I am starting to realize he was just resistant to show his feelings too quickly. He's been in a couple of bad relationships, so I think he's just overly cautious about opening up with his feelings. I believe my b/f falls in love quickly, but he hides his feelings for awhile and seems aloof as a protection mechanism. I fell in love with him rather fast, and was always more affectionate and open about my feelings. It bothered me during the first half of our relationship because I felt like I was always giving him affection, and initiating sex and we fought about it alot. I was just about to give up on him, when he started opening up. Now he's much better about giving me affection, and compliments occasionally and he just sent me a dozen red roses - something he's never done in 3 yrs! I think some men are not sure about a new woman until they've been with her for awhile, and figure out what she's made of. They are often slow to show their feelings because they don't want to appear weak, or needy. You may just need to talk to him a bit, and then give the relationship some time to grow. Hope this helps you out!!
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (21 September 2007):
I think lots of people feel this way. Whether or not you really are less loved is a difficult question to answer though. Sometimes it may just be that your partner doesnt show how much they love you, when they do. Or maybe you just dont recognise their way of showing it. Talk to your partner about it in a calm and non judgemental manner.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): Of course we do! A massive percentage of women are under appreciated and so feel less loved than they love their partners... I think it must be a woman thing. Try not to dwell on it too much, You may end up coursing yourself more stress than needed. Im sure he loves you, just ask him to tell you more. x
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