A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for nearly a year now...several months ago he asked me to marry him and i said yes... however these last few months we havent been very good together so i told him that i didnt think we are ready for commitment... to be honest im not sure if i even want to be with him anymore...I am all over the place, i lost all my friends to be with him so now im a loner, i also suffer with depression really badly... please help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hey babe i think you need to take some time to re concider your answer, i think you are having second thaughts and this isnt good. Tell him you need to re think and you need some space and time.. I hope i helped, Mail me if you would like to talk x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the support guys,
My partner reacted badly to me telling him i didnt want to commit, a symptom of depression is guilt and i get it badly, i feel guitly if i left him, but i feel guilty for me if i stay. I dont know how to follow my heart.... my heart and my head get confused by each other.
I do regret ditching my friends for him and ive tried to get in touch but thy arent interested, im not very good at making new friends but im going to try, for my own sanity!
I certainly didnt plan on getting married yet but i thought it was what i wanted... im still not sure exactly what i really want.
Thanks again guys
Danielle xx
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 You sound extremely confused and upset. First of all: how has your partner reacted? Have you been completely honest with him? I think you should suggest having a break from each other for a while so that you can work out exactly how you feel. I know it'll be difficult but explain that you don't know whether it's your relationship with him or your own emotions that are being a problem. If you have some time apart you can focus on yourself for a bit. If you then decide you must end the relationship at least he'll be more prepared for it. There's no point marrying someone if you're not sure. It can only lead to horrendous hurt all round at a later date. Being so dependent on your boyfriend because you've lost your friends is not a good sign. It's time to concentrate on yourself and your own life for a while. Once you're happy in yourself and with yourself you'll be much more clear about your feelings for him.
Can you get in touch with some of your old friends again? You need to rebuild a network of friends for support and for going out with. You may feel like a loner, but if you can find ways of meeting some new people you'll feel a lot better, even if it starts off seeming like hard work. Renew some of your interests and focus on meeting new people through them too.
Have you seen your GP about your depression? If not then go and see someone as soon as you can. It's an illness and can be treated medically. You don't have to live with it forever. If I can help any further please do contact me. Hope this helps a bit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): aww,, well first of all maybe you should try to make this relationship work, see how it goes for a month or so.If it doesn't imporve tell him how you feel, it's better he knows, you never know he may feel the same. But you need to do something about it. I also think you should wait longer till you get married, a year isn't really long enough to know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. [unless you're madly in love]on the subject of your friends,, you should never ditch your friends to be with a guy. most men come and go, but friends are there forever. Try and make up with them if you feel you can, or make new friends that accept you're relationship with your fiance.Depression,, i have a lot of friends that have suffered form depression, and they all say how much they hate seeing a counseler. But it does help. I've had one for some issues and they've been sorted.good luck and everything, hope i've helped x x
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (11 July 2007):
 hey hun! it definately sounds like you are not ready for committment. your still young and marriage is a big committment, if you dont feel ready then you need to have a serious talk with your partner. Why did you lose all your friends for your partner? do you regret this? if you suffer from depression then going into a marriage you are not ready for will not help you at all. Maybe you need to really think about your feelings for your partner and discuss this with him. If you dont feel happy then you need to admit this, you need to do whats right for you. listen to your heart and it will guide you into the right direction!
i hope ive been helpful-if you need further advice or want to chat then mail me hun!
take care jane xxx
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