A
female
age
26-29,
*uddah.guru
writes:Hello everyone. I just need a little help, if not that, support, to get through this. My boyfriend, whom I have been with for two years straight, broke up with me last night. I didn't want to let him go because we really had something there. And for those adults on here that say "Oh sweetie, you're only thirteen, stuff like this doesn't matter. It probably wasn't true love anyways," please keep that to yourself, I know this relationship had true love. He has done this twice now, and both experiences have happened just as the school year began. He didn't consider me his first choice when I asked him, and he said he wanted to find another girl. Maybe he needs to spread his wings a little bit, and I'll let him, but I truly thought we had something. We'd made out before on numerous occasions, and he promised me he would always be at my side. He told me he loved me. He lied.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 September 2009):
 Wow, That is a remarkably cruel thing to do. Sounds like emotions are high and getting out of control. Remember this police no contact order goes both ways. For your safety you need to avoid contact with this group as well. Also this is the action of a friend of your ex's and not directly from him. We don't know that he had anything to do with it. His friends feelings could have been the trigger for the breakup. Actually I am just trying to put a good face on a bad situation. You don't want to be involved with people who think that this is appropriate behavior.
FA
A
female
reader, buddah.guru +, writes (25 September 2009):
buddah.guru is verified as being by the original poster of the question Okay, updated from this question. My ex's friend called me from his bus yesterday and the others in the background told me some very innapropriate things (swearing at me and telling me I was an ugly b*beep*). I went into school sobbing, and my school guidance counselor found out. All of the teachers at my school have my back and are keeping a close eye on me now, and I told my parents. They called all of the involved people's families, and their parents were mortified that their children had said those things. My parents also called the police, (this had happened before with the same group of kids) and my ex-friends now have a very strict warning not to call me or harass me in any way, shape or form ever again from the chief police officer. HA!-Buddah
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (24 September 2009):
Here's some thing to think about, Just a quote from a movie you might be too young to remember.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
The longer you live the more you will experience, the more you experience the more you will "know". Or in other words the older I get the smarter my dad was.
You have received a lot of good advice so far, but I do have something to add. Your boyfriend is as young and inexperienced as you are. Most likely he is also less mature than you are. He also has mistakes to make and lessons to learn. You are hurt now and blaming him for everything. When he said he loved you he probably wasn't lying, Probably he felt that in his very heart. But he is young and week and he also loves himself. The start of the school year is a classic time for this new and exciting people etc. I had a high school teacher who put it quite cruelly "new girl in school, it's dump your girlfriend week".
Your boyfriend is not alone in making mistakes. You agreed to be a couple even though you knew he thought of you as a second choice. You probably fell into a trap that women a decade or two older than you still fall into. You thought that if your love was just strong enough you could change him. The truth is we can't change other people their changes have to come from within themselves. So if you are feeling that you failed, remember that you were trying to do something impossible. It was noble if some what foolish.
Anyway you are right you need support. Because your feelings are real they are part of you and they have been hurt. When we love we risk, and sometimes we lose. We have all suffered some heartbreak. Just learn and grow. There is bigger and better and deeper and, (yes it's true) truer love ahead for you.
FA
PS there you go and old guy believed that you had true love.
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A
male
reader, Logan58 +, writes (24 September 2009):
Hun, you need to find a new guy. I'm 16 and honestly I have a new relationship and we love each other deeply already. Softtouchmale is right in saying that he probably doesn't know what he wants and should probably have room to spread his wings. But you, you shouldn't be hanging to this guy who has so much uncertainty. He probably didn't lie, but might be confused? Anyways, I wish you best luck with this! :)
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A
male
reader, turtle86  +, writes (24 September 2009):
 I know how you feel. Honestly my ex said that she loved me and there was true love and everything. I thought we'd atleast be together for longer than 8 months but whatever. The thing is that love fades sometimes and it sucks but it happens. Love is a persistent thing. Maybe he just thought he wasn't getting enough out of you. Maybe he wanted more than just making out. Than if this is actually the case he doesn't deserve another second of your time. You see many guys just go out with girls to "get into their pants". Let's say he was a genuine guy. If he truly loved you he wouldn't trying to be going for another girl even though you are his second choice. Love usually means that you love that one person and want to be with them and not another person. If he did love you why would he want his first choice when he has such an amazing girl such as yourself.To get over him is time. I know time... How long is that. Everyday seems to get longer and longer... but the truth is that time really does help. Trust me I know. It's been about 2 months and a bit since me and my ex broke up. Now this really isn't that long if you think about it. Now I am not over her yet but I don't love her anymore is the thing.To get over him just once you think about him change your thoughts. When you see him give a casual "hi" and walk away. Fill your time up with activities with your friends and just fill your time to have more fun with life. Get a new hobby. If you are unhealthy than lose some weight. Do something you have always wanted to do but never really had the time to.Now I know he lied and it sucks... But maybe he really wasn't the one. After a while you will notice other people seem 10x better than he ever was. Look your Ex if he honestly dumps you at the beginning of every school year there is no point in taking him back. He will keep doing it. So best thing to do is to brush it away and just go on with your life. [: Message me if you need help. I know how you feel. [:Anything you want just pm me. [:
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 He didn't know his own heart. Boys at that age get confused enough as it is. He can spread his wings. And that's what he's apparently doing.
But he's not the issue anymore. You are. So you need to think about yourself and keeping in step with school and not his little walk-about.
At your age, you can afford to go out and live your life and maybe, if he's still into you, he'll come back. If that's what you want. Or, maybe, you'll find someone better and you'll be the new guy's first choice; and maybe your new guy won't lie to you.
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