A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently broke up with my boyfriend, we were only together for 4 months but he pormised we'd always be together, and he was moving away..and promised me long distance would work. However after a week we broke up :( He's over it completely and we're still friends but i still love him, however much he hurt me. How can I get over him?
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male
reader, drhit1007  +, writes (2 May 2010):
Although I was in love with my then girlfriend, I never promised anything about the future. We talked about it.. talked about what we wanted in the future. We were obviously talking about the future between us.. but never actually mentioned "us." Eventually, my love faded and I had to break up with her.
We ended up getting back together a few months later. My love for her ignited immediately. She let me read something in her diary that she wrote before I broke up with her. Anyways, it was about how I was "the one" for her and how she was certain. That's when it hit me that maybe promises weren't so hard to make if it was to promise love like that. We ended up talking about the future. This time we were talking about "our" future. She ended up breaking up with me and it's the hardest thing I've had to go through. I was certain though, what happened?
Kind of off topic but.. my brother and I are die hard Chicago Cubs fans. His wife asked him if he'd ever get a tattoo of the Cubs's logo. He said hell no. What if the Cubs move to a New York or Los Angeles? It's not the same. Things can change. What if your lover dies tomorrow? The future can never be promised.. only anticipated.
You never know what lies ahead. Maybe that guy you spend forever with will be right around the corner.. who knows?
Hope this helps
A
female
reader, KaileyLove  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Well, you can never promise to love someone forever. My ex and I were together for 9 months, and we were so much in love. He promised to love me forever and soon he started saying stuff like, "We'll have kids, We'll get married, I'll buy us a house, We'll be together FOREVER."
Honestly, it freaked me out. Forever is a long time to be with someone, and I'm only 17... I realized that I can't agree to such promises. Niether should you.
Perhaps he felt tied down? He probably may have had the same wake up call as I had.
And, if he loved you enough to promise to be with you forever, then I guarantee that he's not over you yet.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (29 April 2010):
 You're too young to be tied down 'forever' hunny. Just relish what you had, try to look forward. Let yourself feel what you feel, but dnt spend days upon days moping over it. You can feel sad and at the same time you can go shopping with your friends and concentrate on school/college work or whichever!
Long distance is SO hard, i'm in a LDR myself, but i was with my BF for 2 years before he went. 4 months isn't enough of a commitment. I'm sorry it didn't last forever for you, but be glad it happened at all. :) Try not to dwell on the past and just shuffle forward bit by bit. surround yourself with things and people that you like and love, and that love and support you and make you laugh! Things really do get better after awhile. Time heals.
In your next relationship, try to avoid saying 'forever', at least in the beginning. The word forever gets you too attached. just enjoy life. Things don't have to last forever to be wonderful and perfect and worth it.
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A
male
reader, uh oh +, writes (29 April 2010):
theres no way you can force getting over someone. just let it burn over time, unless you manage to rekindle what you had? otherwise there is nothing else you can do but wait till the pain dies away or find someone else.
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