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female
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anonymous
writes: The problem: my boyfriend prefers being given oral sex to having sexual intercourse. I figured this out a while ago but recently he has actually told me this and he seemed to think it was strange of him. I don't know why but I feel hurt that he prefers oral sex to making love and I don't understand why he does. Is it normal for guys to prefer oral sex? I feel as though he isn't sexually acttracted to me because of it, despite him always telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful etc. I prefer having sex to giving oral sex, or anything else for that matter, but he doesn't seem to enjoy sex as much as I do, or get turned on by the thought of it. What should I do?! Please write back! Thank you X
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male
reader, Alex6974  +, writes (16 September 2018):
Hi I am a 48 year old married male and I can understand preferring Oral to vaginal because it is more intimate, more personal. There is however more to it I love the foreplay the touch, the caressing. Oral is a two way street but vaginal becomes a one way fest.
A
female
reader, Ahava +, writes (2 March 2006):
Wow, I'm quite shocked that the men have actually said it!! Look, there has to be a balance. If you really respect your boyfriend, he respects you and you want to pleasure him, by all means give him oral sex. But it isn't fair if you don't like doing it. Don't feel like you should, because you shouldn't. If you don't mind it, do it to just start things off, don't make him cum and combine it with something else. Tell him that he may like oral sex, but you like intercourse. And why not alternate, you giving him head for a few mins and then him giving it to you. Talk to him about it. It dsoesn't have to be an either/or situation. You can spend 45 mins doing pleasuring each other in different ways, before you actually have sex. Talk to him.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (2 March 2006):
 I am a woman and I love oral sex. Giving and receiving! And honestly, I enjoy getting it more than I enjoy intercourse. It is the only way I orgasm. So while I might mention that to my guy and hope that he responds with more oral pleasure (and I will return the favor!) I would never make him feel like I didn't enjoy intercourse with him. This guy needs to make you feel special. Does he go down on you? If your sex life consists of only what you are doing for him, then by all means, dump this selfish jerk! But if there is potential there in other areas, you might try making a deal with him - you can do oral (for each other, not just him!) every other time or something. I think most guys prefer oral to intercourse because of the power trip thing about it (seeing his woman down there workin' it) but also because there is more sensation involved. I wouldn't take offense to that, personally, but I would take offense if I feel like I am doing all the work and getting no action. He should also strive to pleasure you. You don't deserve anything less! Let him know that you are glad to do what turns him on, but you expect something in return!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2006): Why? Because he loves oral, and he doesn't care about you. He's using you for his pleasure. To him you are an object and nothing more. Unless you believe you will eventually enjoy giving your bf oral more than sharing intercourse with him (and it's likely that you won't), dump him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2006): Sorry for those who picked it up - I would like to correct something - the "taste of my penis" as in the cum taste. She feels like a foreign object in her mouth.Anyway, yes like Luckyman said - a balance of things. You two should find other kinks that both of you like. He will and should also find it to pleasure you too? If you like your solid tossed, tell him about it, etc. 8]
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): I love my gf. I try to build towards a future with her. Sex is pretty good - not as awesome as before, but still good enough. She used to give me oral, but told me later she doesn't like the taste of my penis. As her bf, lover, possible husband, I'm not going to force her to give me head if she doesn't want to. However, I desire her to give me oral quite a lot actually. I don't tell her mainly because it's too selfish and it'll hurt my feelings in the end.To me, oral is mainly mental because my gf isn't good at oral at all. I just simply enjoy watching her at the end of my penis, etc, etc. It's very enslaving to my mentality to see the woman in your life give you that sort of pleasure. It IS sexist, but if it wasn't, then we all might as well being asexual. I want to see my girl down there doing things to me. It makes me feel dominating and makes it look like she's dominated. When in truth, she is the dominator and I am but a slave to her.It's a preference and not mandatory.
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