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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I really need some advise! ive been with my husband for 8 years and married for 18 months! but for 19 months I have been having an affair with a women who i also work with! i got married for all the wrong reasons, mainly to keep my family happy and throuhout my relaionship with my husband i have been unfaithful to him. I have always known about my sexuality but hid from it and that why i did the things i did. I have fallen so inlove with my partner and i am trying do hard to get out of my marrige, i just dont know how to do it or where to start. i have told him a few times that i am not happy anymore, and dont want to be with him any more. we recently have finished decorating our house so it would sell, its been valued twice and he asked me one night what we should do and i said to sell up, half each and split, he went so mad! pushing me about, dinted the kitchen table and punched a hole in the wall that i had to duck from. im so scared and really do not know what to do. i could leave, but cant afford to rent anywhere and pay for bills at home too, i also dont trust him to look after the house, im worried he will trash it, then it would take longer to sell. i really dont have a clue how to do any of this, but i do know i love my partner (affair) with all my heart and thats who i want to be with, please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): thanks to those who replied, if anyone else wants to leave me anymore feedback i would gratly appricate it, thanks x
A
female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (2 March 2006):
 You know you should leave, but you don't know how to do it? Well, this stuff is never easy, but the only solution is to sit down with him and be honest about who you are. It is unfair to him, unfair to you, and unfair to your partner to keep this situation the way it is for one more minute! You will just have to try harder to come up with a plan for where you will live, etc. and get yourself out of the situation pronto! It is worth a few months of turmoil to get things on the right track. Cut your losses once it is over, which shouldn't be hard to do when you feel the freedom of being who you really are and being with who you really love. And forgive yourself for what you did - we are all human and unfortunately, we make mistakes. But you have to learn from them in order to become a better person, so in the future, please be honest about who you are - most importantly, be honest with yourself and do what makes you truly happy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): I suggest you leave your husband. Go for the lover. Objectively, you should go for what makes you the most happy. If cheating is something you must do, I suggest you stop cheating and just file for divorce. Obligation is a mental obstacle.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): Leave and don't expect anything. You were the cheater in this situation. Get what you deserve. A big fat nothing. Learn your lesson from it, and be happy with your lover. And be honest and don't cheat on her and something like this won't happen again.
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