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female
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anonymous
writes: hi my name is lilly i meet a young man a year ago ,when we just started seeing each other ,he told me he doesn't have luck with girl and he does want to put a label on me ,so as of now i am still his friend . I loved him alot ,it hurts me more and more the person i loved is only accepting me as a friend with benefits i am a little confuse as to wether i should just let go I really don't know what to do now Please help me on this one thank you lilly :)
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female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (25 August 2006):
 I love a guy who thinks he cannot attract women and he is just suspicious women want him for financial reasons. I think the sex thing was a mistake and you should make it clear that if he wants 'friends' then that is what he gets ..full stop. He could be maniplulating you, you could turn it around by suggesting you feel insulted that he feels he is not good enough yet would have sex with you as that itself is ambiguous. If he isn't manipulating you and he is genuine then it may take some time for him to believe you love him, even if you do, you could be with a guy who will look for any excuse to test your love or not trust you. Be careful.
A
female
reader, b3x +, writes (25 August 2006):
 Hey lil's
I don't think you should let it go, it seems he has had a bit of a bad past with other girls, So he has a trust issue with women.
What I did notice though was he said that he didn't want to label you, so there is some feeling he has for you as he wouldn't have said this. But also whats significant is that his trust issue is whats stopping him from maybe taking it further.
You need to build his trust before he will take things further with you.
You say your a friend with beneifts, I assume you are sexually active with him then? Maybe stop this for a while as it kinda might be messing your head up without you realising it, he is willing to 'do' things with you but not to take it further?
I reckon you guys should talk about things, tell him you've loved him for a year! Tell him what you think about him and tell him that your not like other girls. If not, then stop this friends with benifits, it won't be doing your feelings any good. You may have to accept that the only relationship you can have with him is a friendship, but its better than nothing I guess?
Hope things work out hun xx
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (25 August 2006):
 I think that you should really talk to him explain that you love him and you cant bare to be around him as only a friend as it is tearing you apart inside. Maybe he really is interested but finds it hard to show his emotions. If he really is not interested then it is best if you stop seeing him as a friend because you are hurting so much,and you will never be able to move on if he is around all the time. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): I think you need to sever ties with this person imediately as they do not have the right sort of feelings for you, especially after a year. You need someone who really loves you and you feel comnfortable with and why should you settle for anything less.
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A
female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 i think that you shouldnt let go. i think that you should talk to him and ask him what his feelings are on you and then you tell him your feelings.
i hope this works. what makes a relationship is talking. thats the key. good luck. xx
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (25 August 2006):
 A year is quite a long time to be having feelings for someone and just be friends. It's very hard when one person has feelings and the other one doesn't. Have you tried talking to him more recently about it? Ask him if he has any feelings other than friendship. If he says no, it's up to you, either accept that you're just friends or if that's too difficult, yes I think severing all ties may be the best option. Maybe the distance will also make him realise whether he really does have stronger feelings.
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