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He never pulls out before he ejacualtes and I don't want another child right now!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *likenight writes:

My boyfriend always ejaculates in me, unless I tell him specicfically every time "pull out" And it can be that we have sex and I tell him to pull out, and he does then 5 min. later he is ready again, and if I don't tell him to pull out that time he won't. I always say afterwards "why didn't you pull out?" He knows better. We already have a 2 1/2 mo. old daughter together, we live together and talked abt. marriage. I am trying to get a job b/c I want us to be able to get a house, and etc...I can't take the pill and I hate condoms. I just wish he would pull out b/c I am not ready for another baby, which I have told him. What do you think is his problem?

View related questions: condom, ejaculate, the pill

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A male reader, macdubh712 United States +, writes (10 April 2011):

I know it's an old posting but I can relate. I am married now but when I met my wife I was at a point in my life where it didn't matter to me what happened. I was "good" with whatever was thrown my way but I was incredibly attracted to my wife and I fell for her quickly. the first time we had sex and I was close to cumming she told me to pull out and I just looked her in the eye, smiled, and said "I can't." This was within seconds of course. Afterward she said that turned her on more than anything. We've been married for 6.5 years and never ONCE has any contraceptive method been used. I couldn't do it. Basically, for me, and probably for some other guys, it comes from a deep seated urge to be completely one with that person, to own a piece of them and for them to own a piece of you every time you make love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

I am the poster of this question. I am 2 months pregnant now..And I am happy!! I will be having 2 babies less than 1 yr. apart, they will grow to be best friends! And I will be getting the diaper stages & etc. over with at relatively the same times. I thought I didn't want another baby, but maybe I was just afraid b/c my baby was so new at that time. And I had an awful labor experience. But when I found out I was really happy. We both were..I don't think that I want anymore after this one, just because of financial reasons, having to buy a 4 bedroom house, a van, etc.. so I talked to my obgyn and I am getting the I.U.D. as birth control after this baby. Thanks for the answers..I knew all of these things so I don't know why I even asked the question.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

Just wanted to let you know for god sake if he still gets it out then u still have a chance of pregnancy!

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (30 June 2007):

tux agony auntHere's my take on it. I believe both are at fault here. First, You dont like condoms and cant take the pill and yet dont want another kid and yet continue to have unprotected sex. Second, he doesn't pull out everytime.. but he does when you tell him to. Perhaps you should tell him everytime then. But he should pull out if he knows you dont want another kid yet.. Not saying the pull-out method is a sure-fire way of not getting pregnant.

But you need to be the one to tell him each time to pull out, otherwise he'll think it's ok not to. but bottomlime is, if you really don't want another kid... stop having sex or use some sort of birth control.

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2007):

love-him agony auntHi babe.. some of these answers are so wrong! ahem, its up to you if you have a child before marrige.. i was born and my brother and my parents never married.. get with it! ok, babe, what about other forms of contraception.. for instance, i have the implant, for three years, you dont have to remember to take it, its easy.. if your boyfriend continues to do this.. have no sex.. honestly he should learn after that.. mail me if you want to talk x x x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

I can't believe how ridiculous some of the answers from women on this site are. Honey, if you don't want to get pregnant, whether or not he pulls out, it has nothing to do with respect. Get a clue. YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN REPRODUCTION. If you really feel like he is disrespecting you, you shouldn't be sleeping with him in the first place. Don't be a victim.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

You two have an immature relationship...you are having kids without marriage, you don't have a job to support the one you have, and you don't like condoms and you can't take the birth control pill....if you replace the adjectives with the truth, what you are saying is you don't want to get married, you don't want to take the pill, you don't want to use condoms and you don't want another baby......you are childish, and you are blaming your boyfriend for not pulling out when he cums....if you went past the 6th grade in school, then you should know that this way of having sex will result in a pregnancy sooner than later.

Why don't you do the world a favor and stop having babies that you don't intend to support and you don't intend to marry their father....it is your kids who will pay for your stupid mistakes.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntYou can still get an infection whilst pregnant whether the guy cums in you or not.... Did your midwife not tell you that???

Ok disrespect might not be a reason. But you should both disscuss birth control or you will find yourself pregnant again- pulling out or no pulling out.

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A female reader, ilikenight United States +, writes (29 June 2007):

ilikenight is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ilikenight agony auntActually, when I was pregnant, he did pull out every single time, wether I told him to or not, because I was afraid if infection. But now that I am not pregnant, I know he's prefectly able to and I am thinking that it has to do with the fact that he may want another baby. Like I said he's aksed me to marry him and is supporting me and the baby 100% financially and otherwise (he's a great daddy) so disrespect isn't the reason. Thanks for the responses.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007):

are u serious? theres just as much chance gettin pregnant if he pulls out! u need to go on the pill or something this is crazy!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (28 June 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntAll the Aunt's gave you great advice, but I'm just letting you know that pulling out can STILL get you pregnant. It is no guarantee. There are so many forms of birth control that you could be on. The pill and the condom are not the end all-be all of birth control. You should go to your local Planned Parenthood and have them suggest a good form of birth control for you. Perhaps the shot, the diaphram, the IUD, the Nuva Ring, the patch? There are so many options.

Pulling out can MOST DEFINITELY still get you pregnant. I have two friends who now have children because they made the same mistake. Don't you do the same!!

xxIndia

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A female reader, Sbrwneyes United States +, writes (28 June 2007):

Sbrwneyes agony auntSometimes it's hard for a guy to pull out when he's on the "brink" of cumming. Guys have a hard time with that, as it's in the heat of the moment. Yes, disrespect could be another part of the problem, if you told him to pull-out then he should have listened, but like I said, some guys have a hard time pulling out on the brink of the moment. Some can't hold it long enough. You really should think about taking the pill, or using condoms..at least condoms because pulling out really doesn't work, because of pre-cum.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntLove whether this guy pulls out or not you could fall pregnant!!!!!! There is such a thing as pre-cum and if you don't want another child then you need to find a form of protection and not rely on your guy pulling out as that doesn't work!

xxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntDISRESPECT is what his problem is, you have told him many times not to do it and he has totally ignored you.

Anyway that aside it is a very unsafe form of contraception, have you tried talking to your doctor and exploring all of the many different forms of contraception that there are out there now?, if not i think that it would be advisable as if you carry on this russian roulette you will have another baby very soon.

Take care.xx.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007):

I don't know what his problem is - maybe he gets carried away in the heat of the moment, but that's no excuse. Unless you plan to get married and want more children in the future, maybe you should either get your tubes tied or else get him to have a vasectomy. Though probably its going to be up to YOU to take the action.

OR: Give him the old heave-ho and don't look back - no "friends with benefits" either once you have told him goodbye.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007):

err im not sure what his problem is but u do realise u can still get pregnant even if he pulls out? there is something called pre-cum that exists! im sorry but i expected this question off of a teenager, not an adult with a kid. i hope u dont get pregnant because no child deserves parents as irresponsible as u two. use condoms for godsake if u dont want kids, even if u hate them - its a small burden to pay

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