A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy that I think likes me. He stares at me a lot and when I catch him he looks away really fast. He can't talk to me. His friends even ones I don't know are always whispering and pointing at me when I walk by. And some other things. We have had the same class since the beginning of the school year in August. It's now the end of April. I'm not 100% sure he likes me. Everyone I ask and tell about the him says that he likes me. Don't you think that if he really did like me he would have been talking to me more and even hanging out? Wouldn't he have asked me out by now? If he does like me do you think he will eventually get enough courage to talk to me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who +, writes (28 April 2009):
 "He stares at me a lot and when I catch him he looks away really fast. He can't talk to me...."
He sounds like a teen age boy.
"I'm not 100% sure he likes me."
True, but you are a lot more sure about this than anything he is sure about.
"Don't you think that if he really did like me he would have been talking to me more and even hanging out?"
No, I don't think that. I think he likes you. And I think he WANTS to talk and hang out with you. He THINKS about doing those things all the time, and practices for hours in front of a mirror what he is going to say to you. While practicing, he is the most suave, debonair and sophisticated young man that ever was. Way cooler than Edward Cullen. But once he sees you he instantly converts into a quivering mass of stuttering protozoa. If he chickens out before you notice he is approaching you, you will save him from a slow, painful death by embarrassment. If you do see him...well, best to not talk about such tragedies in polite company.
"Wouldn't he have asked me out by now?"
Back when I was a teenager, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, all we had to do to ask a girl out was offer her a chunk of mastodon meet and grunt. If she ate the meat and smiled at us before he father found out and clubbed us to death, it was a successful date.
Now-a-days, it is way different for this boy who keeps staring at you. Not only does he have to be cool, he has to know if it is still cool to use the word "cool." Is it now "Phat"? "Rad"? "Neato"?
"If he does like me do you think he will eventually get enough courage to talk to me?"
Well sure. But when that eventuality happens you and he will both be in your mid forties.
Look miss, you may not like this, but if you want him to ask you out, you are going to have to help him a little bit. You are going to have to break the ice and start talking to him. It will go down something like this:
You: "Hi. My name is [your name.]
Him: "Gaag? whaa beet?
You: "It's OK, don't try to talk just yet.
Him: "Goot."
You: Have you been thinking about ever asking a girl out?
Him: "Arrggggg!!! BEEAKKEAT!!!!! geeif. geeif. geeif."
You: "All right, calm down, take deep, cleansing breathes."
Him: *pant, pant, pant*
You: "You don't have to answer right now. Just think about this for a few days. If you ask me out, I will say yes."
At this point he will likely pass out, and you won't have to (thankfully) talk to him while he in in the incomprehensible state anymore. Just pin the following note to his shirt, and leave him alone to think about it:
"I like you and think you like me. Plan a nice few hours we can have together. It does not have to be fancy, outrageous, expensive, or even perfect. Just a nice time where we can talk and get to know each other. Then ask me to go with you, and I will say yes."
OK miss, I've had my fun. The point is this guy who stares at you likes you, but he is scared stiff you are going to reject him, and say something like London Tifton says. This fear is paralyzing him and making him into the kind of guy who can't ask you out. If you gently let him know you will not be cruel, and you will go out with him (at least the first time) when he asks you, you can make the fear go away, and he will become a decent guy, the type of guy you want. Just talk to him when/where his buddies can't see, and give him a day or two to understand what you said. He will be all right after that.
Best of luck.
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