A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend never has any problems getting an erection during foreplay. He can whenever and wherever. But when it comes to sex he goes limp. He says its due to nerves. Ive tried helping him right before but when he goes to put the condom on it goes limp and we can not get it hard again. I dont know what to do. He has a low self confidence and isnt too experienced with sex so I have tried complimenting him but that doesnt even work. Please help!
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condom, confidence, erection, foreplay, limp Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): It happened to me before (lasted about three weeks) I started dating a new girl and was very nervous, I found that it helped if the condom was put on for me but when i became used to the new partner and got over my fears it wasn't a problem. I did get all worked up over it because of pressure from my girlfriend or "pressure" that wasn't there, only in my mind. It helped to be reasured and left to contemplate things on my own trying not to focus on sex but on giving her pleasure. After she had reached orgasm all the fears and nervous feelings went away and it made it easier. Time helps too
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Maybe try puttin it on for him?? give him oral and then wam it on! Make him feel really good and then put it on for him. Maybe that will work? it's worth a try!
xx take care xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Hi
You're doing all the right things.
He has a psycological thing going on here. Somethings happened in the past. Or he just dislikes condoms. I used to have to be real sly about putting them on my ex as he was completely turned off by them, but wasnt too bad if he didnt actually see it going on!
In the meantime though i would forget the intercourse for a while, carry on the foreplay and lots of cuddles, but no intercourse for a couple of weeks then move back into it slowly. Not making a big deal about it.
Hope it gets sorted.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (30 August 2007):
 your boyfriend is obviously anxious about having sex so what i think is the best idea is to leave off it for a while! dont try to initiate sex, he is prob feelin really pressurised as he wants to please you and the more the pressure gets to him the more anxious he will get and will make it more difficult for him to perform. one day when you both feel really in the mood and you both feel really ready, it will be great and you will both feel totally relaxed about it!!perhaps you could talk about things with him and tell him that you wanna take things slow and hopefully the pressures will lift!good luck hun, i wish you all the best!xxx
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