A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I've got myself into a bit of a dilemma. Basically I have been with my boyfriend for nearly six years however in the beginning of the relationship he was very wild. He used to become violent when drinking, he cheated on me, took drugs. Then I forgave him for cheating on me and thought I could help him and I did in ways. he completely calmed down and is different man now although there are still arguments because of the trust issue. He doesn't trust me as I slept with someone also.arguments can get very intense and lead into big rages wherever and whenever. Although apart from this I love him very dearly and we bot acknowledge our problems and want to work on them. however recently when we split for a while I met someone who has been very sweet and nice to me and who I get along with great. This guy doesn't know about my boyfriend as I liked him and didn't want to ruin things. Basically I don't know who I want. I don't want to stay with my boyfriend if the arguing continues, although he is the only guy i can imagine being with for the rest of my life. Or do I take the risk and leave him and be with new guy who is very caring and sweet but not as intellectually stimulating as my boyfriend who is extremely smart which is partly why I fell in love with him.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Uh-oh, danger zone. You're attracted to the new guy becauase it gives you a mental break from the fighting and explosions. But you have already admitted he is not intellectually stimulating and that spells boredom. If you cannot imagine yourself with anyone else but your current b/f then see if he would consider counseling with you to help you both learn to communicate your grievences without violence. This may solve the main thing that seems to be wrong with the relationship. Good luck.
A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Honestly if you have been with your bf for 6 yrs and you two have made it this far after the cheating and the drinking, and you really care and love him then i would honeslty recommend that you two go to a specialiest and talk about your problems and work on it then your fights will not be all the time. And about the other guy yeah he can be all nice in things now but alot of guys are like that they are nice and once you are completly with him and living with him things get tuff. So i would really try to work it out with your boyfriend. good luck and think it through
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