A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Heres a question for you the only guy I have ever really liked - I think he is my soulmate (if there is such a thing) lives on the other side of the world we usually see each other once a year either I go there or he comes here, but realistically its not enough.I am thinking of applying to emigrate to see that if we were in the one place we could make a serious go of it. Do you think I should?? This is the thing the reason I think I should is because I keep thinking that Im at the point in my life were I am ready to settle down and hes really the only one I want, and I keep thinking that if he met someone and decided to marry her I dont think i would be able to deal with that - so what should I do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): How are things going did it all work out?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): Where abouts are you and he?
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (9 January 2007):
I think you should go for it!
If you know how he feels towards you and well lets face it you know how you feel for him then go for it.
You say you can get a job any where then i would say apply for a visa get your own place over there so you can get used to being so close to each other again then when you re ready move in, take it easy and things will bloom.
If it turns out hes not the man you thought then atleast you have a new life and a new beginning and maybe thats what you need too?
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Hi thanks to everyone who has answered my question, the guy in question although he lives on the other side of the world now used to live near me, he would never come home not because he wouldnt come home to be with me but he has made a really good life for himself and his job is very much there he couldnt come here and earn the same level of income whereas Im a teacher so I can get a job anywhere - and i wouldnt go without a job to go to.
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (9 January 2007):
Agony aunt Vina had a very good point in that you should try to find out if your soul mate would be willing to move for you. Otherwise it's no point in you moving. You have to feel the same way about each other.
If your feelings are mutual,I think you should take a shot at moving. Even if you after a year decide that you want to go back to your home country, it's a rewarding experience to move to a different country and try to fit in.
It's not easy though.
I moved to a different country to be with someone I loved.
For 3 years we had seen each other once every third month and we decided it was time to live together or just cancel the relationship.
I learned a new language, adapted to new customs and suddenly found myself to be a religious minority.
I had to wait for a whole year for a work-permit, so during that year I almost went crazy with not having anything to do.
And on top of that, I had to find new friends (which is the hardest thing to do in this whole mess).
4 years later I'm happy here, but I know that I will never feel like I fully belong here, because of the cultural differences.
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (9 January 2007):
Go and see him there (in the country he is in)for a holiday because you've said you both do that sometimes. So the next time you go just think while you're there if you could live there. If you'd like it there, if you'd cope well living there away from your family and friends. Would you trully be happy living there? And also a very important question to ask ... Would he do the same for you? Would he be willing to move to another country to be with you? Does he feel the same way? Does he see you as his soulmate too? Have you discussed this with him? Have you mentioned any of this to your family?
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (9 January 2007):
Moving to another country is a bid step. Is it a country that's of an equal standard of living? It's hard to go backwards. It's also very difficult to get permission, immigration wise, unless you have some special status.
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