A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been going out for almost 8 months now and it has been a really nice time for both of us, except for his constant lying.He lies about everything from what he had for breakfast to what he did yesterday, or when we are talking online, what he is doing when I ask him "Sup?" He'll almost always make something up because "It's what he thinks I want to hear". He lies about the littlest things for no reason. He also lies about the porn he watches and looks at, even though we discussed that and I told him I was okay with it.I've called him out on his lying before, and we talked about it, and he promised to stop, but that evening he was lying again. When I realised he was lying I called him out on it again, he apologised and once again promised to never lie to me.I just want to know why he lies so much... he said he loves me but I don't even know if that's true anymore. He says he says things he thinks people want to hear, but I've told him on multiple occasions all I want to hear is THE TRUTH.It's really getting me down, and I feel like I can't trust him again. I just want the lying to stop and for me to be able to trust him again... I don't know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): My boyfriend at your age did the same thing. I honestly think it is to make him seem more interesting. Some of my friends exaggerated everything also. Probably not a big deal. Youre right not to break up with him over this unless he is hurting you. My ex never lied to me about anything that serious and never cheated on me, but did entertain everyone who talked to him. Enjoy!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): thanks for these replies, especially from mr.anonymous.
I am not prepared to end this relationship, he is very kind and patient with me as we have been through some things but this lying really hurts, so I think I will try using the respect line.
Thank you all again
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): People lie for several reasons. Here's what I've found to be true.
1)Bser's: These people are nothing more than exaggerators. They aren't okay with what reality is and my guess is this guys already or going to become a compulsive lie'r.
2)Lying to protect you. Some people will cover something because they know you would not value it, or not have the same value you do. These aren't neccessarily bad, but I'd rather hear the truth.
3.)Lying to cover something they know isn't right.
If I were you, instead of accusing him. I would just tell him something to the affect of: I don't particularly like non-true stories, because what I've found in life is that people lose respect for lier's.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 He is what you call a pathological liar.
Sometimes when people constantly lie they feel like they need to keep lying so their other lies don't get caught. Some people lie because they like to put up that wall.. wheere no one can really see who they are kinda thing. Either way he needs help. I would not feel confident in the relationship either if I were you. You can tell him he needs to get help but most likely he will shrug it off. You can issue a break up as an ultimatum but be prepared to hear what you don't wanna hear.
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A
female
reader, misswalston  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 He has a problem. A very serious problem. He might need to seek help about his constant lieng. I believe there are clinical terms for people who lie like that. If you find out that there is nothing wrong with him and that he just likes to lie, then I think you should leave him alone. Lieng is not healthy behavior...........
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