A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i've were 2gether for a year and half and i love him i do i really do but he says that the feeling is not mutual he likes men.... he is gay.... i felt like i wanted to pass out. what am i going to do he left me for another guy! am I that useless that i cannot please a men so he decides to be gay? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): I know someone ( a woman) who actually married someone and then found out he was gay. I think it is easy to fall for someone who is gay and not know. Its nothing to do with your performance as a female. Thats a crazy idea - as being gay is his natural self not something he thinks "Oh, I know I think I'll be gay today". Don't be so hard on yourself. He has not duped you - so be glad of that.
A
female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (12 September 2009):
Your not useless at all.He wasa gay the day he wans born when he met you and he will remain that way until he dies. Its nothing that you did, thats life. You have nothing to feel bad or insecure about. You are a a real woman and are capable of sustaining any relationship with any body, that not gay... So stop feeling bad about it.. Theres too many guys in this world pretending to be something they are not what is this world coming to? Well its been like that since the beginning of time I guess.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (12 September 2009):
 NOOOO! Don't think that! You did NOT turn your ex-bf gay. He was gay before you even met him. You are NOT useless. He lied to you because maybe he himself was ashamed by being gay or he didn't want his parents to know. It happens all of the time. I know it hurts and you love him but you are going to have to move on.Get over him and heal then find a straight man who loves you. Your ex was wrong in having you when he knew he was gay but maybe he was trying to convince himself he wasn't and by having a girlfriend it "proved" he was straight. There could be many reasons why he was with you but you turning him away from women is not one of them. Forgive him and you will feel a lot better. I hope your broken heart heals soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Well he has used you. And that is not right. Tell him that if you want to continue to respect him you need to know when he decided this and why he drug your emotions into it as well as 'acting' like your boyfriend for such a long time. If he cares he will answer you. I know two married couples that broke up over this...the first she caught him getting texts from a guy and he basically just left without an explantion other than he had been gay decided to change met her married her and then 'accidently' fell in love with another guy! UGH The second couple were truely friends and after a time he told his wife he felt attracted to men and didn't know what to do about it. After some time and discussions she basically helped him to meet some guys he experimented and discovered he was gay. They divorced but remained good friends she went on to marry a nice man and he continued to see men and came out of the closet. Your really deserve good closure with this man if he does care he needs to be honest with you i.e. he used you because he didn't want to have feelings for men or.... these feelings came about later... either way you deserve the truth. THe issue is with him NOT with you. It has nothing to do with whether you were adequate he is the one who is confused and was not straight up with you. Hiding one's feelings in not good in any relationship. Take Care
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