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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for a over a year and a half. come the end of this year, we both have known that we have to say goodbye. We will be travelling to different countries because of university, family and culture and there is nothing either of us can do about it. We both know that long distance will be too difficult, especially at 18 and since there is no guarantee we will ever see each other again. Even though we both knew this would happen, I'm dealing with it a lot harder than he is. I keep thinking about how hard it's going to be and it just gets worse each day because im so worried about the time we have left and how i'll be alone. He says there is nothing either of us can do, that we should take every moment we have now and in the end it's just something we both have to accept. I wish I could but so far I havent been able to. Please, someone help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Aww this sounds awful, I'm not surprised you can't deal with it, many people wouldn't especially someone of your age.
But is there really nothing you can do? Transfer university to the country one of you will be living in? You may be able to do that if it offers the same course. If it isn't possible can you stay in touch via letters/email/myspace/facebook/phone? Could you both get jobs in the country your living in and save to visit the other during the summer holiday? Are you able to be with each other again once university is done with? If you are really meant to be together time won't stop you.
If it doesn't work out at least you will know you both worked to keep the relationship together, and it might help knowing that you didn't leave on the final note that you would never see each other again.
Good luck!!!!
A
male
reader, Trans Am Man  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I didn't read the whole thing, I didn't have to. If you love him, you'll go with him. You will say screw the university and you will go with him. If you truely love him you won't let anything get in the way of you two being together forever
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Aww, I'm sorry you are in this situation. I'm sure it's a messy patch to be in, you are going to miss him tons but you will slowly accept it, and get over it, in time.
This is why a lot of young people don't stay together; because they're heading towards different directions in life. I'm sure he cares just as much as you, but is perhaps accepting it more than you at the moment, or at least convincing you he is if he isn't.
Unfortunately, the reality is that you will have to mutually break up, and go seperate ways, so please do spend as much time as you can, and try to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about tomorrow. This will be hard, but at least you can look back and know you spent and enjoyed as much time as you could with him instead of looking back and thinking 'I regret not doing this/that with him, because I was upset about us parting at the time'.
When you move and settle into the uni lifestyle, it'll be a whole new experience to you, and whilst you'll be getting over the break up, you're going to enjoy every minute of it. Life will go on, you will recover and start looking forward to the future and the opportunities that has come with it. Just remember, enjoy what days you have left with him, and time will heal you both. If you're meant to be together you will meet again, I'm sure of it! Good luck!
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