A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:il start from the beginning. started a new job, was given my tour and i spotted this lad there, he was gorgeous, i knew from wen i first seen him that he thought the same. he used 2 stay after work for a drink, so i stayed a couple nights a week so i could get 2 know him. we started talkin, i found out he had a gf, and shes pregnant, due in july just gone. still didnt put me off of him. some of the staff went out for a nite in town, so i went along wiv them, cuz this lad i was fallin for was there. we had had a few drink and one thing led to another. had an amazin night. in the mornin he woke up and had 2 get to work. i stayed in bed, i didnt have work for a few hours. a couple days later he told me he had split wiv his gf and he wanted to be wiv me. i was so happy. weve been 2geva for nearly 2 months now, his x gf has just had their baby, and i dont know if i can handle him seein them so much. she tells him he loves him, hes secretive bout her, and he doesnt tell me when he seein her. were livin together at the moment so i dont really see him v much, as he doesnt work wiv me anymore. i dont know what to do.... iv fallen for him big time, but i cant handle him seein his x gf and their baby so much. i dont trust her because she still loves him. i dont want her usein the baby to get her bk. any suggestions on wot i cud do or say to try and make this all a bit easier?
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female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (22 July 2007):
Because of your age I won't be so harsh except to say that in time, maybe when your happy and pregnant, you may realise what you have done to this poor lady. And don't expect him to treat you any different than the way he has treated the mother of his child. I hope she is ok.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Well, blood is thicker than water and right now you are the water. You have no choice but to sit on the sidelines and allow him to see HIS child that he made with another woman. These are the things that happen when people hop from one person to the next and have children in the mix. There isnt anything you can say to stop him from seeing his kid nor should you want that REGARDLESS of the feelings his ex may still have for him. He is being responsible and that includes being cordial to the mother of his child. Your words and emotions have no place and you have to deal with that or just leave the relationship and find a man who has no attachments at all.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 I think you cannot expect the man NOT to contact the ex, since they have a baby together. He is doing what he must in taking responsibility for this child. This is not a temporary situation; this is going to last for as long as your boyfriend and his ex need to discuss things about the child. I picture them together thirty years from now, when the baby is getting married. And, the time after delivery is a very sensitive one and he needs to support her.
I understand this situation is awful for you. You've been together for a very short time, and now she can play the baby card to get him back. This is difficult, but it comes with your decision to get involved with a man who was about to have a baby. You cannot blame anyone but yourself.
But, you're young and this is just a poor decision. You can manage things.
I think I have established you can't ask him not to see the baby or the mother. So, what you can do is simply be a loving girlfriend to him. If this is enough, time will tell.
I want you to take courage in case things don't work out as you expect. Here you are before a very important person, the baby, and you're not in the winning position. Nor should you be.
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