A
female
age
51-59,
*ollikins
writes:I have had a FWB for about 3 years. I have always had feelings. Usually our sex life is just sex quick etc... most times he is friendly with me but when he is seeing someone else he is little more distant. Lately he has become affectionate can't keep his hands off me. texting me multiple times per day sometime sexting messages late at night. Very friendly asking me about my day. I enjoy my time with him. Just wondering should I question these changes? Could he have feelings? Or should I just let it play out and continue?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): You say that 'most times he is friendly with me but when he is seeing someone else he is little more distant' - I hope that means that when he's seeing someone he doesn't come to you for s*x - he should be staying away completely if he's with someone else. But anyway, it seems to me that he has developed deeper feelings for you and you should - if you like him - take the bull by the horns and just straight in. The thing is, one way or another this sitation will end. It will either be because the pair of you develop a relationship or because one of you meets someone else and you stop seeing each other. It won't continue like this forever. If you like him, now is the time to let him know by responding to his texts and seeign where it leads. I would personally think that if a man likes you, he would phone you and ask to take you out to dinner or something. But I have the feeling that he is the sort of man who doens't do dates and is more likely to come round to your place without even bringing a bottle of wine. I might be wrong about that and my apologies if so, but I am just reading between the lines of your relationship. However, if you are happy to be with him and you think that he could treat you well, then you should be open to his advances. It seems that he has feelings for you but the problem is that he is so used to just meeting up with you and not having to put any real effort in to wining and dining you that he probably thinks sending a few texts is the same as chatting someone up. If I were you, I'd be open and friendly but hold back on the s*x and wait to see if he wants to take you out. I'd stop sleeping with him but still be warm to his texts. If he wanted to come round, I'd simply say that I've decided that I want something more serious in life and although I value his friendship, I'd rather not meet up for S*x anymore. Or you could say that you do want to mee up, but that it's probably better if you don't as you're after a more serious approach in life. If he then doesn't bother contacting you again - or only does it for a booty call - I'd accept that it was over and won't develop into a relationship. The fact sending you late night texts does not mean he values you - I know this from experience - so you're better to hold off. I can only conlude that during the past 3 years you've not had another relationship, which is a real shame if that's the case. If you have dated other people then you probably had him at the back of your mind so cound't focus on anything new. Why don't you go on a dating website and meet some new people while you're waiting for him to build up his respect for you enough to ask you out on a proper date - then you'd have nothing to lose x best of luck with everything and I really hope it works out for you. I have a feeling that you'll meet somebody completely new though, but you won't do it by sitting in doors thinking about his feelings, put the lipstick on and get out there! x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): He might just be horny.
On the other hand, he may have feelings.
Play it out awhile, send subtle signals and try to see what happens. IMO if you have been FWB for three years that already may suggest there was something more there to begin with....try exploring it if he is willing as well!!
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