A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes: Hi, im having a bit of a problem with an ex of mine. Recently i just started dating a boy been dating for about 2 weeks, but one of my ex's when who i was in a relationship for a year is trying to cause problems! So my ex who i will call 's' has been telling my new boyfriend lies about me things like i will fall out with him if he has friends, i will try to get him to stop playing football i will not let him do anthing, things like that. He also makes up lies like i have had sex with him hes fingered me all which are lies i was way to young to do any of the things he makes up!I asked My new boyfriend which i will call 'd' if he believed him he said no he didnt because he knows what he is like for lying. 'S' has also been telling me that 'D' has said things about me. Like when i was in my maths lesson today somone who i dont realy talk to told me that 'S' had been telling her that i have done some dirty things with 'D' she told me she didnt know why he was telling her that because it doesn't really have anything to do with her. So after the lesson I confronted him and he said 'D' had told him that I have done dirty things with him (which i havn't. I didnt realy believe him because I know what he is like for lying thats why I broke up with him, however I decided to ask 'D' about it anyway. He told me he has not told him anything I do believe him because I know he doesnt lie. After that somone who I will call 'L' (who is currently dating another girl 'S' has been out with) told me and 'D' that 'S' is doing the same thing to them too. I started to notice a pattern, he has done the same thing to me this other girl and another one of my friends who he has also dated! Why does he do that?! 'D' tried to ask him why he had been saying thins about both of us that was not true, he ignored him and told him he didnt want to talk to him. Eventually when he did talk to 'S' he told 'D' that he had lots 3 friends him and two others, but when 'D' aksed the other two friends, they both didnt know what he was talking about and said they were fine with him. Then after school 'S' asked 'D' if he was going to break up with me and 'D' said no so he said well aslong as you go out with her you have lost me. I forgot to mention 'S' has done this every time I have dated another boy, i dated a boy from another school and 'S' tried to add him on facebook and tell him lies about me! Also he has another girl he likes which he never shuts up about! So i dont understand why he doesnt like anyone else having anyone.
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (14 July 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou this realy helped
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (14 July 2011):
'S' may well be jealous because you are friends with 'D' and not with him.
At any rate, 'S' seems to be a real trouble-maker, but everyone is aware of the fact that he lies through his teeth, as the saying goes. If he can't have or keep a girlfriend of his own - and truthfully, who'd want to have him for a boyfriend if this is the way he behaves? - he wants to spoil it for others who are happily in a relationship.
Best thing you can do is to avoid him as much as possible. Do you HAVE to run into him in school or class? If you do, just say "Hi" if you see him in the hallway, and then keep on walking. If he tries to talk to you, tell him you're going somewhere and you can't speak with him. If he tries to get you to listen to him anyway, just say something like "Sorry, I can't" and then keep on going.
The more he thinks he can get a rise out of people by acting up, the more he'll do it. That's the "payoff" or "reward" if you like, for him.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (14 July 2011):
Well if he's done this to you before then why does it matter now? This guy is a liar and soon everyone will know. He has nothing better to do with his time than take it out on you, which is unfortunate. He'll suffer eventually by not having any friends or girlfriends because everyone will be tired of his lies. So keep living your life and keep him out of it.
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