A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 yrs and living together for 2(high school sweethearts). We are both 23. Lately all he ever wants to do is be with his friends playing ball,music,fishing or hanging out at the tennis courts. He doesn't come home until dark.(Everyday thing) he also does not work, I have a full time job and we are barely making it, my whole check goes to paying bills. And he gets mad at me when I don't have money to give him? He gets mad at me, seems like every day lately. My question to you would be how can I get him to want to spend more time with me, and respect that I work and try my hardest to give him his needs. And yes I have asked him nicely a thousand times to not have his friends over a few evenings a week so we can b together.. Hummm...
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female
reader, SillyB +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Yes this was my 8 year relationship. We started dating at 18 and broke up at 19. He started playing poker, going to clubs, playing squash and hanging out at the gym with his guy friends. There were periods he didn't have a job and wanted me to pay for things, when I refused (the deal was he had to study and I would pay for things) he would throw tantrums which escalated into huge fights.
It just go out of control when I moved to the states and he chose to visit Vegas with his friends rather than see me.
All I can say is that its very difficult to force people to do things they don't want to. He's at that point in his life where he's just wanting to be free and do guy stuff. You're like a mummy.
Three options really
1. continue with things as they are, but find your own apartment and activities/hobbies. Keep busy with your own life and make sure he is supporting himself.
2. Break up with him
3. Wait around in the situation you are now till you are 100% sick of it (took me 8 years) or someone better comes along (took me 8 years).
At any rate, don't stay with someone who doesn't see you as his best friend. Having a best buddy who is a BF is amazing. I still haven't found it 100%, but thats what our 20's are for.
A
male
reader, jay-man +, writes (29 May 2010):
 sorry but nothing you do is going to make realize how good he has it. he needs to grow up. he needs to learn that your more important than is friends. (no offense) your in a relationship with a boy not a man. he should be supporting you. not bitching at u when u dont have any money to give him.
honestly you can do way better. the best advice i can give you is dump him make him get out your house and move on. eventually he will see how good he had it and will be begging for you to take him back.
good look :)
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Wow.........this sounds sooo familiar! He is not ready to be in a relationship, he wants to be a guy, to do what he wants when he wants and not have any responsibilities. He is not respecting you and takes you for granted. You can't do anything to make him want to be with with you, he needs to feel it and he won't until he grows up. I was in the same situation and I worked my ass off to sport us and provide for myself the life i wanted until it affected my health! It might be best to break up with him and let him grow up and get that lifestyle he chases out of his system until he is ready to be in a mature relationship. You need to take care of yourself, spend time on yourself and with your girlfriends not wear yourself thin cause you're taking care of this man child
Good luck hun..........HUGS
If it's meant to be, you will meet again in the future and if you still want him, you will then be able tohave a proper grown up relationship
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