A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 months and a few days ago I found out I was pregnant. We both currently live 100 miles apart and only get to see each other once a week. We decided an abortion was the best option for us as it would be impossible to raise a child, practically and financially. He said he'd support me through the whole process but he hasn't even text me for 2 days. I asked if he would attend the abortion appointments with me and the doctors and he simple said "if football is cancelled yes". I couldn't be more hurt by this. He is not being supportive and I am literally broken because of what is happening. If he can't support me through this, I don't think I can continue our relationship. Am I being too sensitive?
View related questions:
abortion, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 October 2017):
 As other DearCupiders have said, this guy is an idiot and a dick. Someone you can dispose of with no regrets . Just file him under " life lessons ".
I must say that if he is in your age range, maybe toward the lower end of it, this is not surprising, in the sense that more than cruel he is just dumb. The average male teenager is generally not a model of empathy and sensitivity, and hasn't got yet the maturity to handle a relationship right, i.e. being there not just for the good times but also for the bad ones. Probably he is not more callously self involved than the next guy, it's just that at his age and level of maturity his priorities are skewed. In the same way that a 5th grader will be genuinely upset because attending Grandma's funeral.. will make him miss his favourite cartoons show.
Just saying that he is not a monster; not that what he says and does is acceptable. So, do not accept it and give him his walking papers. It's not that you are too sensitive, it's that he needs to grow up !
Take an older female relative, or a trusted friend, to your appointments. Or, go alone,even . The " technical " part is simple and quick. The psychological part may be hard to deal with on yout own- but there's counseling support available through volinteer organizations, or through the NHS, I think. And you can always write us back; we root for you, and we know you'll come through this allright . Even BETTER without your hopefully soon-to-be ex.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 October 2017):
 You're not being too sensitive, this guy sounds like a dick. Has he always been this way? Has he always put football above you or placed you last on his list of priorities?
It's the challenges in a relationship that really shows the character of the one you are with, and whether or not you should be together. Everyone can have a great relationship with whomever if there were never any troubles or challenges. Now that there is a challenge and you need his support, you're able to see who he really is: someone you shouldn't be with. He sounds really self obsessed and in my opinion not mature enough for a relationship.
But I do suggest you give him a last shot at clearing this up. Ask him again if he will come with you. Tell him if he understands the severity of what you are about to do. If he still fails to understand and support you in the right way, then cut him out of your life and say good riddance.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 October 2017):
 What an absolute asshole to put it mildly.
You need someone there right now that you can rely on like a friend or family member. That would be a much better option than thinking this waste of space will attend the appointment with you.
Block and delete this guy. Wouldn't waste another breath on the guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 October 2017):
 I'm so sorry, OP, but this is you learning the hard way. Here's what you need to take from this:
- he's not for you
- an abortion seems like the best decision because he isn't supportive and you're not ready
- condoms AND birth control until you're ready to be a parent
- find someone else to go to the appointments with you
Please cut all contact with him and locate a charity that will give you some comfort through this abortion.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 October 2017):
 I'm sorry you are going through this.
It seems like he sees this as YOUR problem, not his. I don't think he understands that THIS will affect you emotionally and physically. For him, it either hasn't sunk IN what's going on or ... he doesn't really care :(
You and your wellbeing are not high on his list of priorities. Football is higher than you.
Honey, bring someone you can trust and rely on. He isn't it.
Cut all contact with him.
In the future, be on birth control and use condoms if you aren't ready for a child. Learn from this. It's hard-knock lesson to realize that some guys can easily have sex with you and a relationship but when it hits a bump they run the other way.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 October 2017):
 I assume he is of a similar age to you? He is dreadfully selfish and immature and self-centred. He was spelled out to you where you stand. Please BELIEVE him.
Do you have anyone else who can go to the appointments with you? A close friend perhaps, or family member? I would not rely on this guy for ANYTHING, let alone support at such an emotional time.
Why would you want to continue a relationship with someone who has failed you so badly at the first hurdle? You are worth so much better.
And next time, PLEASE use reliable contraception. You have discovered the consequences of not doing so. This will probably be something which will haunt you for a long time, if not forever. Please don't put yourself through this again.
...............................
|
