A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My neighbor who haven't seen with a girlfriend for like 1 year now.... only 2 who seemed to be random hookups. Met in a bar afew weeks ago and I told him that I wanted us to be F buddies.... exactly that and nothing more. He listened as I went on and on. He commented 'not a bad idea'. We exchanged numbers. Few days later, checked on him but he didn't reply my text. Met in the club few days ago, enjoyed drinks together, Asked if i was still interested in hooking up. Affirmed. Drank some more and then he disappeared. I found out that he had gone home. Texted following day to check on him, he hasn't replied yet. I am going through a dry spell and I'm not the type to sleep around. So thought I could be getting my needs from him. It is now turning into a mental obsession. What is wrong with him. Guys hit on me but I'm not interested in them. This is messed up
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015): Girls....answer this question.....
Why do men like sports?
If you understand the answer to this, you will understand why you don't chase men, EVER
I DONT CARE WHAT CENTURY WE ARE IN!!!!!!!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): I don't think old traditions like "the guy should do the chasing" or "a woman should not look desperate" should continue to exist in this day and age. So if you don't mind chasing, more power to you. If you don't mind looking desperate, more power to you. Guys never cared about being seen desperate. We all get desperate at times about things and in my opinion admitting something honestly can not be a bad thing.
Anyways, regarding your particular situation, you have said you are not interested in some guys who are hitting on you. I don't know how you let them know you are not interested. As others have pointed out already, this guy might not know how to clearly tell you he is not interested. Or may be he has some other things in his mind. Whatever he is thinking, in my opinion you should ask him straight to give you a clear yes or no and not be wishy-washy. If he still doesn't give you a clear answer after that, just move on because you are saying it is affecting you mentally. You can't be wasting time in a pointless mind game which is affecting you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 I think it was VERY forward of you to make such an offer. I suspect he either thinks you're desperate so there is no rush for him since he can call you when he wants you or he's decided you're just not his type of woman. Salvage whatever dignity you have left and let this one go. Don't mention it or even hint about it again.
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A
female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Well as my Mother always told me, "no one is going to buy the whole ice-cream truck if your giving the cones away for free"
Meaning there is nothing in this for him, no chase, no goal.ect. You putting it on a plate is major turn off for most guys, it screams desperate.
Leave him alone, if he's interested he will chase you.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 The signs are all pointing to the fact that he's not interested. He's either trying to let you save face, doesn't know how to say no or perhaps he even likes the chase but doesn't want to get caught. Whatever way you want to look at it, I'd say he's not wanting to hook up. Its not really a good idea since you are neighbors and if things turn messy you would have to see each other. Let it go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): You're pushing it and he doesn't seem interested - not every guy wants casual sex.
I was also going to say that neighbours are a bad choice, unless you don't mind moving if/when it all goes wrong, but Janniepeg beat me to it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Not a bad idea is a gentle way to say it's not a good idea either. Nothing is wrong with him. You may think guys would never reject casual sex but that's not true. There are two worst places to be looking for sex or relationships. The workplace and neighbours. If things go sour you are forced to see each other everyday. Because you live so close, you will have it regularly and one of you would catch feelings and that's where things get complicated.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (9 August 2015):
You've expressed your interest, now it is time to back off.
While I can't say 100%, it really sounds like he is not interested. Else he would have jumped on the offer of NSA sex. It may be as simple as the fact that screwing your neighbor can get messy should things break bad.
Being rejected or ignored sucks. But it's time to take the high road and stop hitting on him.
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