A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do guys keep on either playing me or just break up with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 September 2015):
 Sorry, I've been away, do you have any followup information?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 August 2015):
So you are 30-35 and are asking why guys keep playing you or breaking up with you?
If this has been going on for 12-20 years and you haven't been able to figure it out, then perhaps there is something beyond race?
How old are the men you are dating (or hoping to date) and how old are you? What do your girlfriends think about the situation?
Honestly, you haven't provided enough information for the aunts here to offer any kind of guess beyond, "it's something you are doing, it's the guys you are choosing to date or it's a damn mystery." :)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 August 2015):
 if all the guys are reacting in the same way then what is it that you are doing or saying that is consistently turning them off?
Are there any actions, attitudes or values that you are conveying that causes them to step back and say ''no'' to continuing to date you?
That you've dated several guys is a plus, as clearly they find you attractive initially.
Has any guy ever hinted at any action or any remark that he felt offended by?
Have you been offended by something that so disappointed or concerned you that you made a comment about - where the guy seemed find your remark off-putting.
Something is happening consistently to you.
Perhaps try doing a FREE On-line EQ (Emotional Intelligence) which can help gauge the actions and reactions if your behaviour (might) appear to be concerning to others.
For instance: what people say and do can reveal traits that leads to other people feeling comfortable or uncomfortable or positive or negative about that person.
More information from you could help, please?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015): omg, whencowsattack....
that was really funny
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (10 August 2015):
It could be, but most people aren't too hung up on race. And why would they date you in the first place if they were?
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A
female
reader, Hellofriends2014 +, writes (10 August 2015):
Could it be because I'm asian and some of the prospects that I dated were caucasian/white or another race? Should I just stick to my own? :-( I would but like I didn't have a choice in where I grew up and I casually dated a guy that was my own race too but then I don't know what happend I guess I wasn't that into him? I also dated a half caucasian/half filipino man (that lasted almost six months), that was cool, but I was pretty hurt when it ended but I couldn't do anything... that was his choice and then I realized that he wasn't a good guy. Anyway, he has a new woman anyway, so yeah... whatever, I have to move on with life. But it just sucks that guys can so easily move on like it was nothing. Really mean and disrespectful of them...
Oh and by the way, I was the one who wrote the question.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 August 2015):
 .. because you let them.....
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (9 August 2015):
Because they can't deal with the fact that you let your pet horse sleep in bed with you every night. Because your habit of impersonating Barack Obama during sex is just too offputting. Because of that nasty meth habit. Because of that time you threw a live turkey at their little sister.
How would we know? You didn't give us a single detail.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (9 August 2015):
Well you don’t provide any details about any of these incidents where guys have played you (how?), or broken up with you. This makes it hard to comment. Why do you not offer us more detail in your question? Are you hoping for an easy and generalizable answer? There isn’t one. There are good guys and bad guys, just as there are good women and bad women. You need to think about these breakups carefully. What reasons do they give for breaking up with you? Are they all saying similar things about why? What sort of men do you pick? Have they had long-term relationships and shown themselves to be committed in the past? How good are you at spotting a player? Do you know what the warning signs might be?
The problem with the brevity of your question is this: when we give advice, we’re usually unpacking the story some-one has given to help them spot the answer out of what they recall. We have nothing to work with here, but you may find it helpful to start thinking about the detail of what happens with each bad relationship to spot consistencies and tendencies in what is said, what proceeds the breakups and what characteristics are consistent in all the men that played you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (9 August 2015):
 It is hard to say without more detail on your past relationships. I'll try to help from my personal experience.
I have been played or humped n dumped a few times. My guess as to why, is that I only sleep with guys who I am strongly attracted to, where as some guys will sleep with a girl who they are only a little attracted to. So after a while, the guy loses interest and the hooking up ends. Another way to look at it is that relationships can just run their course as people change their minds about what they want, or once they get to know all of you, they find something that doesn't fit with what they want.
I guess the way to avoid this is to resist getting intimate until you really know the guy and can work out how he feels about you and if he is sincere. Or, try not to take the rejection to heart and enjoy the sex and fun times for what they are, fun experiences :)
It sounds like you want a more long term, committed relationship and it's bothering you that you are finding short term, or casual relationships. Maybe you need to spend sometime working on yourself, becoming the best you that you can be. Really love yourself and learn to really enjoy your life and enjoy who you are. That way 1) you will be happy and not care so much about your relationship status and 2) guys will be drawn to you because you will be radiant and beautiful then you can date guys until you find someone who is worth spending your time with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): We need so many details to even give you a rough answer.
What guys?
How long were you with them?
Dating or relationship?
What happened leading up to each break up?
Were they break ups or rejections?
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