A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were suppose to be working things out. He told me to seek for anger management help. So I actually went out to buy health insurance on my on cause I have none through my employer. So last weekend we spend together and had a great one made up for lost time. We have a 5 year old and I had put him on child support. Well guess what they just started the deductions on this pay period of 4/20/07 so I did not hear from him all weekend. He shut his cell off. I was like what is going on. So this morning I spoke to him and told him what's up he was like nothing it's me I said talk to me we need to communicate so he told me it was the child support and I told him don't worry the money is coming right back to us. Aren't we suppose to be working things out. He looks at all what I've done since we were seperated. I was in another relation ship but like I told him. When we split up in two weeks you had a new girlfriend. It took me two months but did not work out. So I told him he is blaming me for everything and not seeing what he is doing wrong. How can I make him ses that he is at fault too and not only me. I love him so much and I do not want to loose him. Can someone please respond as soon as possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAfter all these great advices. I have set my grounds and I will just let him go. And if it was meant for us to be together he will realize it and come back. I am being strong and letting him go for my son. Because I need to show my son that I am there and just because daddy is not that does not mean that we are lonely. I will work for my son to be happy and so that he has everything he needs. Mainly my love and affection that will keep us strong to look forward.
Thank you for keeping us in your prayers I greatly appreciate that gester from you. I will do the same because your answers mean alot to me.
A
female
reader, beautifulllove +, writes (25 April 2007):
 listen my sister came home from a bad marrige and ran stright to me she has a 5 year old son name chance and i have always told him that it wasnt hes fault and you got to remind your son that no mater what you love him and just do what your heart tells you is the best for you and your son. there divorce hurt him so but the fighting and bad marrige would have effected him more so if you do choice to leave it may be for the best but depends on the situation just dont act to fast but dont rag it out because this could just hurt you and your son worse in the long run. i wish you all the luck in the world and keep me posted but you know after i got out of my relationship i started to say this saying and even thow it sounds crazy it worked ( love doesnt cause pain its all in your brain) but no mater what your worth more than heart ache and your beautiful and you know it so when you look in that mirror dont cry be proud you did all you could and you sound like a really good mom and that lil boy is the reason you are doing what you are doing if it comes to him leaving so be strong your still in my prayer and your son too
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A
female
reader, accused +, writes (24 April 2007):
 If your childs father doesn't think that you and his son are worth fighting for then you are doing the best thing for the both of you... We can't keep something that doesn't want to be kept... which to try and make a 5yr old understand this is inmpossible.... I can tell you that if your BF is only coming back for your son, then it will not work out anyways.... and eventually you will be right back where you started, explaining to your son why you and daddy can't work out... Trust me I tried this one! and in the end I was explaining to my daughter and to be honest I think it was harder to do that go around then it would have been if I had just let him go.... Men have a way of making you feel that everything is your fault, Don't let him do this you! Keep your guard up and let him know that nobodys perfect he did his thing and you did yours don't matter how many weeks or days it took for either of you.... But he can't suggest solutions for you two to work out then back out of the deal when you don't go according to plan. Example: Telling you to get anger help...then just stop communcations all together because you took out child support.... I do wish you the best...
Ask yourself this question regarding the well being of your son:
Would you rather your son say he is FROM a broken home?
OR
That he was RAISED in a broken home?
Keep me posted
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope for the best on the out come of this. I will keep you posted. Thanks a lot I hope I can hold my ground but no matter what the out come is I will be strong for my son.
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A
female
reader, accused +, writes (24 April 2007):
Its truly sad how men can take child support and hold it at the top of their list! Trust me I've been where you are, and I had to take child support out on my daughters father who actually threatened to have me beat up! (smiling)....So I know it hurts when they try and make you feel like their MR PERFECT! but hold your ground and stay strong for your child because in the end its just you two anyways.... Maybe he just needs time to adjust to whole money ordeal.... but on the other hand this is to take care of his child! I would try to talk to him, but don't waste too much time because life is too short either he wants to be with you or he doesn't.... Just keep your child's best interest at heart and everything else will fall into place... and if he would treat you this way over money that is supoorting his child then what happens when something else comes along? Best of luck, and keep me posted
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advise. Today we suppose to talk. At this time it has also affected my baby because he wants daddy back and he has told him that he is coming back. But like I told him he is not realizing how much he is affecting our son in this situation. But today I pray to be stron when we are face to face so I can tell him that I love him but if he is not willing to fight for us then the best is to let it go. It is going to hurt me deep inside not only for me but also because my son will hurt. But if daddy doesn't care then I will have to heal the pain in my heart and in my sons heart. I will try to explain to him. But how do I explain to a 5 year old that daddy tells him yes I am coming back but that no he isn't. Please advise me.
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A
female
reader, beautifulllove +, writes (24 April 2007):
really give him time and just be ready to take the worse. may be u should tell him you want to get away with out him and think. some guys think they can say any thing and as long s you love him you'll be there well you got to tell him your hearts in this you have both made wrong and if hes not willing to admit that then he really doesnt care about the relationship and it takes two to fight and tell him you dont want to hurt any more dont let him push you down you got a 5 year old be strong and your in my prayers sweetie i wish you all the luck but just promice your self something for ur child you wont let it effect hes/hers life. doesnt really mater about your feelings when it comes to your child and every mother knows that but i do hope everything works out for the best lots of luck
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