A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my fella for a year now and it's going ok, but we both have very busy jobs and he lives in another town from me,anyway I wanted to see more of him so I suggested seeing him on a Friday night but he couldn't because he had something else on so I suggested a Monday but he couldn't because of work so I suggested a Saturday and he said he wasn't sure but I just got a call saying he was going to play a game of golf instead....now am I being selfish here? Because when he told me that I felt kind of upset....like that was more important then seeing me? We chat a lot on the phone but I'm feeling kind of left out. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 September 2014):
 I think that would depend if the problem has already arisen and being discussed in the past, or if this is the first time- because I think everybody deserves a second chance , but nobody a third.
In other words, if it's just a 2nd chance he asks for, yes, give him a chance to prove you that he can do better - some time people just need a little tap on their shoulder to mend their ways. Oth, if you do not see FAST results, do not waste many precious months waiting and hoping that he changes. You told him what you want from him , and what's the effort you want to see- if he understood, you'll see the effort clearly and at once. If you don't see the effort, ... then he was just batgaining for time and telling you what you wanted to hear ,in order to have his cake ( you ) and keep it too ( his single man habits and lifestyle ).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014): I told him we are finished, he begged me to stay saying he lived me and that he would make more of an effort.....what shal I do? Give him another chance or just walk away? I guess I'm either happy or unhappy without him, ...could he give me more? Not sure?
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A
female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (13 September 2014):
I would try to answer these questions: Is he giving me what I need in a relationship? Would I be happier with or without him? Can I expect nothing from him? I think you should be much more fun than golf...
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 September 2014):
 Hhas his priorities all messed up. Or, he's trying to 'dump' you in a very awkward way without acually saying anything to you out of clumbsy embarassment. It sounds like time for the two of you to 'take a break' from one another to see if absence makes his heart grow fonder. why not suggest to him that you two take a break and re-up in a month or two? See what happens? good luck
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (13 September 2014):
I'm sorry but it just doesn't seem he's that into you. He doesn't see you very often and it's clear he would rather golf than spend time with you. I don't see this relationship going anywhere at all.
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