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female
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*sweeney19
writes: I am 19 years old. I have been with my boyfriend two years next month. We had a "great" relationship at first, not really, at first I was blind. I had an apartment and he was staying with family friends. Short story, he moved in. Five months later I find out that the girl who he claimed was his long time friend, was his girlfriend I found out and was very hurt. I forgave him and we moved on. We started to have bad verbal fights, that was when we had a third party around a lot, since my roommate has moved out it has gotten bad. I have been spit in the face, thrown to the floor, bruises that can be seen. I have just recently told my family the truth about him still living with me, he doesn't have a legal papers so he can't work. I want to leave him so bad, I dream about it, but he has told me that he would hurt me, "if I played him. I will cut your throat." He talks like a cold blooded killer. I have people who will hurt him. Am I just stupid not to want him hurt, just gone? I don't know the safest way and I don't want to kick him out to the curb with nothing. He has nowhere to go, but I know it's not my concern to know. .... what's wrong with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2005): What's wrong with you? Well right now it's only a few bruises but in the future it sounds like a huge gapping knife wound. Call the police and give him the boot ASAP!
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female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (22 September 2005):
Value yourself more than this walking, breathing trainwreck of a man! Of COURSE you can leave him -- kick him out (with the police there!) -- you can do anything you want to!! Look inside yourself and find the power that is there :) Good luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2005): Talk to a barrister, or solicitor, about getting a restraining order putting him out. If you are afraid to through this man out of your life, the police will not be. YOu have plenty of legal reasons to justify issuing such an order. Where he goes and what he does is not your concern. He can bully someone else, and probably will with in hours of leaving you. YOU need to focus on getting as far away from this man as possible, and do it now, before he really does harm you. Marshall forces, using relatives, neighbors, and friends to provide lookouts for him for a few weeks, or until he seems to have moved on. Don't take his threats lightly. He is just crazy enough to do something he will regret for the rest of his life. Don't let him ruin, or end yours. I wish they taught young girls how to have courage in schools. Bravery can be learned, but sadly, the only place where " civilized " societies teach this anymore, and then only haphazardly, is in military training school, and the few martial arts schools that may exist. In the U.S., where private gun ownership is still common, and it is legal for people to carry a firearm for self defense, there are many self defense training schools where students can learn the law of self defense, and then shooting skills and gun fighting techniques that they may employ to avoid a fight, or survive a fight they cannot avoid. Somewhere in the process, students learn about being brave in the face of life threatening danger. It is still a noble characteristic in people, and worthy of note. In the states, we have a growing number of women who are buying guns and learning how to use them, so they can protect themselves, their children, and other members of their family in case they are attacked. They have an option that you may not have available to you. It is sad if the laws of the country you live in make you an easier victim for guys like this, than you might otherwise be. Data shows violent crime drops precipitously when a state passes a concealed carry law that allows law abiding victims to be as well armed as their attackers.
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female
reader, tatiana +, writes (22 September 2005):
RRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNNN - I am glad you at least now that you don't deserve such treatment. I hope you are still alive to read this reply. You need to go to the police with this. Have him deported and move away, change your name if you have to - do not wait or it will be too late.
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female
reader, missdee +, writes (21 September 2005):
Mercy girl, Bless your heart. You are going to have to get rid of him. Where he goes is not your problem as long as it is away from you. Make sure you stay where you will be safe until you know that he will not be bothering you.
You said he can't work because he doesn't have legal papers. Then he shouldn't even be in your country. I don't know where you live but if it is in the United States you can look on the Website: www.usimmigrationsupport.org or contact by Email: [email address blocked] they may can have your boyfriend sent back to his country.
Nothing is wrong with you. I am sure you are having alot of mixed feeling but you need to do what is best for you. That would be getting as far away from him as possible..
Be careful..
I'll be praying for you. God Bless You
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with you. You are in a very bad position and it's perfectly natural to feel the way you are feeling. At some point in time this man made you feel good things... but now it's clear that he doesn't anymore. It is not your concern anymore about whether or not he has nothing or nowhere to go. However, legally you cannot just kick him out. You will need to obtain a restraining order and have the police escort him out and back to the country he came from. It sounds harsh, but this man has threatened your life, and that's simply not ok. You need to take all precautions against him possibly coming back to hurt you once he's gone. You may want to consider moving as well and remaining unlisted.
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