A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupids, am I in the wrong here? I have a big presentation tomorrow and I had asked my boyfriend to be my practice audience when I'd done. Well he knows Iv been feeling pretty crappy at the moment due to the fact Iv been paying off his loan since he lost his job and I have been unable to afford getting my hair cut/ new clothes, I have also had a few breakout in spots due to the stress. So I'm halfway through answering a question he'd asked me, when he starts saying wow oh wow. I'm like what, and he's watching this Greek wedding and for about 5 minutes he starts going on about how hot Greek girls are. He used to live in Greece and their gorgeous, and he wants to go on holiday there.I tell him he's a real idiot sometimes. Ok maybe not the maturest thing to do but I felt he was being a real dick at that moment in time, I mean a) he interuppted me whilst I was talking to him. And b) he knew I was preparing for a presentation I amVery nervous about and that I am feeling a little down about my looks at the moment. I mean saying Greek girls are "gorgeous" is one thing, but his elaboration was completely disrespectful (I felt). I cant even remember the last time he told me I was beautiful. He told me I don't need that stuff anymore since we've been together long enough for me to just know he thinks I am.So anyway, his response to being called an idiot? Smacking meSqaure in the face, causing me apill a hot drink all over myself and my laptop.Iv tried talking to him and all I get is "f*ck off". Oh and it's my fault half the laptop keys are now not working?So now I'm burnt, have a bruise on my cheek, an unprepared presentation, and I have lost a whole lot more pride and confidence. Please guys, what do you think about my situation? Is he as selfish as I think? Was I out of order telling him he was an idiot? Of you were me, what would you do?Please give me some much needed advice. Thanks
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acne, confidence, lost his job, on holiday, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Better yet, try to kick him out. One way or another, get AWAY from him!!!
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (20 February 2011):
Oh my god. What a complete jackass. You deserve to be treated so, SOOO much better than that. Find a friend you can stay with for a little bit, pack up, inform him that you are leavinghim, and that he can pay off his own damned loan. Tell him he had absolutely no right to hit you under any circumstances, and that he's lucky you're not reporting him to the police. Unless, of course, you want to report him to the police. In that case, more power to you and inform him of that as well.
I know you love him, and that this will be hard for you beyond belief because I've watched people go through what you're going through. However, you need to realize that staying with him is dangerous to your confidence, your hapiness, your physical and your emotional health. My prayers are with you and the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Il be running away from this idiot,yes hes an idiot.hes not even thankful of you paying his debts, how can he discus hot & gorgeos girls with you!. A bruised neck,?red flag! Your lappy half working coz of him? Leave him.next time he slaps you, report him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): The advice is very simple. Dump him. End of advice.
Violence is unacceptable. Thats aside from the disrespect he showed you in watching TV (I assume) at the same time as "listening" to your presentation. He's also using you to pay off his debts. Get shot of him NOW, he is a loser.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Oh 1000% hands down, no other response, you should be dumping him and walking away right NOW.
1. He physically abused you. First time? Second? This should be an unforgivable action. It doesn't matter whether you called him a name, insulted his family, ANYTHING. Physically abusing someone is dead wrong. Its an unloving and horrific action which he should be shown the door for.
2. Now you are trying to talk to him? Hello, why? What did you do - say something in reaction to a rude comment he made about other women. The reaction far exceeded your comment. Now he is telling YOU to 'f, of??'. Honey, you did nothing wrong - you simply pointed out he is impropriety by commenting about other women as he did. You need to be telling him to permanently F off!!!!
3. Obviously he is not sorry for abusing you. This shows how much respect he has for you.
4. He never tells you you are beautiful. Sounds like a guy who 1. might have an ego or 2. likes making you feel inferior to keep you with him. You probably don't see this though. At any rate, this does not sound healthy at all. You should be with a man who is fawning over you and adoring you.
5. Why are you paying his credit card? You are not his wife. If anyone should cover it by any means possible it should be 1. him or 2. his parents. Please stop this immediately.
You need to tell your parents what happened. Regarding the presentation you need to talk to your teacher and put it on hold. You need to figure this situation out ASAP. You should be breaking up with him right NOW. He passed a point of no return which is NOT forgivable. You're acting now like an abused person thinking that somehow it must be you, when in truth it isn't so. You just can't see what a complete loser he is. Tell your parents and walk away immediately. YOu will not have a good life with this boy.
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (3 February 2011):
get out of that relationship. no guy should hit a girl no matter what the situation and yes he was being a idiot he shouldnt have said that and also about not telling you youre beautiful even if you have been together a long time you still need compliments and its not your fault the laptop isnt working its his next thing is he'll say it was your fault he hit you dont believe him! please get out of this reltaionship if hes done it once he'll do it again
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