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He hasn't been the same since he was released from prison

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Question - (4 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi everyone! I'm not sure if there is anyone out there who can help me. My husband was released from prison almost a year ago. He was in prison for four and a half years. when he went in, we had been married for 8 months, and I was 3 months pregnant. the resons why he was in prison are unimportant, as they were not related to me or violence.

I am not a person who cheats. i have always been faithful to my husband. I don't believe in cheating. I feel that if you think that there might be a chance that you could be unfaithful to your girlfriend/boyfriend, why would you even bother marrying them. that's just dumb. There is so much to this story. And it's hard to remember it all in order.

I've been sick, since our child was 6 months old. I'm still sick. my husbands mother helped me with our child up until she passed away 3 days after my husband came home. I've had to go to hundreds of doctors appointments over the past 5 years. I had to go on welfare, because I couldn't work. i still can't. I've had to go through every thing, deal with every thing, did everything that I had to do. Just for my husband to be able to make it home, the same person he left.

before he was sent to prison, he was so wonderful to me. he showed concern for me. He didn't yell, or scream at me, he didn't treat me like shit, and make me feel worthless. well, as i'm sure you've guessed, he does now. I do everything to make things easier on him. I try to make things as good as they were before. I bought a video camera to record everything from our child's birth, to first everything's. trying not to let him miss a moment.

so, now I don't know what to do. I was so devastated when he went away. It killed me. And if it hadn't been for his mom, I wouldn't have made it through all this. But his mom has passed away, and he's closed off, almost secretive about things. He has gotten so angry at me, that he's punched the cabinet next to my head. I can't talk to him, he only screams and places any blame he can on me. this hurts so much, and he see's that the things he does hurt me, but he just doesn't seem to care anymore. he just acts like nothing happened.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but i hope that there is someone who can give some advice. thank you.

View related questions: in jail, violent

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A female reader, Nonamus United States +, writes (6 October 2010):

My first husband went to prison for dealing drugs. He wasnt a bad person; just liked to have good times My daughter was born while he was there. He turned into a very mean man. He cared for nothing except himself. He held a butcher knife to my throat twice. He locked me out of the house with him inside with the baby. My advice to you is to get away as fast as you can. Don't let him take your child for visitation. The woman he was with after me was raped by a guy he cheated in a drug deal. The guy held a gun on her baby while he raped her. Again; leave him!

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A female reader, melomat Zimbabwe +, writes (4 October 2010):

melomat agony auntthe reasons he went to jail are very important because they affect your life.a violent man is something a woman doesn't need you need to go a hospital and get the proper treatment for what you're suffering from and if you want to deny your illness it will only make matters worse you will get even more sick and die then who will take care of your baby it's obvious your husband won't. Get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Leave that no good man get treatment and go to work so many sick people are working and living their lives. I can see you want to depend on other people so much like the welfare, his mother you need to know that your life is your own and noone else will live it right for you so my advice is

1. get treatment for what you're suffering from and stop denying that you're infected because flu doesn't last 5 years.

2. Leave that no good man and take your baby with you take legal action if you're worried he'll come after you

3.get a job that you can perform well in given your current health

If you disreguard any advice that you will recieve from me or anyone else because it doesn't suit what you want to hear then you have more problems than you think you do

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