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female
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anonymous
writes: hi, i dont know if i can call him my bf or my ex, okay this is how it goes,my bf and i we have been seeing each other for 3 months now, but more than a month ago my bf started distanting himself from me, before i knew he told me how devastated he was after his mother's death 5months ago, but he told me he was coping and ready for a normal relationship, things were hitting off well communication was great between us all of a sudden 6 weeks ago he started distanting himself from me his calls were reduced to none a day and his e-mails reduced as well, he stopped texting me as well, i didnt take it seriously as i thought maybe he need time to adjust to a new relationship and the death of his mother as is something u cant easily forget or move past easily. then for two weeks he stops all the communication with me but i kept calling, texting and didnt mind at all as i thot maybe he still need time its like i made excuses for all his silence because when i ask him why he is shutting himself from me he said he wasnt aware of that nothing has changed between us i asked how would i know if he is no longer affectionate towards me he said he is, but deep down i know he knew he is negleting me bcos he apologised but he never changed his resentful behaviour. 3weeks ago i decided to stop calling him as i thought maybe him stopping all communication channels it was his way of asking some space because i will call him and he will say he is tired i will ask how his day was just to start a conversation and he will tell me he doesnt want to think in fact he will call me later but never did and so i decided to give him space.then last week on wednesday i decided to call him as i was really missing him bfore i say anything he said u know what i will call him later as usual never did, then friday i text him asking if he still wants us to be together or if he needs space so that i can know if we are together or finished and asked him to give me the answer same day but i never gave him an altimutum, he never responded until today, i know he is the only one who can give me some reassurance but he is not talking to me and i really dont want to push his answer bcos i really love him very much and i cant stop thinking about him and it is really hurting. i know i keep on making excuses for him that he will tell me what is bothering him but i also cant stop wondering if it is his way of saying its over. what do u guys think? do you think im wasting my time hoping he will call and tell me we still have something going while he has forgotten about me? im finding it hard to move on without feeling like i will be cheating on him and especially when i dont know what he is thinking. please help
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (14 November 2006):
Honey, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but he has issues that he needs to deal with, and he's definitely not reaching out to you for support. In fact, he's making it clear that he's no longer interested in you. That doesn't meant that you've done something wrong or that he's not attracted to you. He has issues that have nothing to do with you. Men aren't always the best communicators, they just stop calling or contacting women when they're done (At leat that's what immature men do!). So take my advice, and move on. Stop contacting him, stop paying him any attention and move on with your life. Trust me, you'll find a great guy who will call you and shower you with affection. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, lovestough +, writes (14 November 2006):
this guy obviously needs to deal with his mothers death before he is ready to deal with a relationship. leave him alone for a while, let him do his thing, you do yours. if you are meant to be together you will be but you must give him time to decide what he wants. he doesnt need you ringing him constantly and bombarding him with txts he has just lost his mum!dont push him because you will push him away! just give him his space. if he wants to be with you let him decide in his own time. meantime go out and enjoy yourself. only time will tell!
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