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He has pictures of his ex throughout the house but wants me to get used to it.

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2009)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

The man i have be seeing for a year has pictures of his ex wife in his bedroom and throughout his house. he says they are family and vacation pictures and they shouldn't bother me. i have told him it does, but he hasn't changed anything and wants me to get used to it. Any advice??

View related questions: ex-wife, his ex

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A female reader, wondering321 United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2009):

this is similar to a question o have just posted. i don't know the best advice to give but i would think that after a year this is going on a bit too much. are you worried that if she reemerged on the scene then he would leave you for her? have you talked to him about it and if so what did you say? x

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A female reader, onceagirl United States +, writes (10 November 2007):

This would definitely upset me. I've had a similar situation but not within marriage. It made me feel insecure. Like maybe I was just a distraction from what he really wanted. Or if she were to show up he would throw away or disrespect your relationship immediately. He could definitely have some issues letting go of her and maybe that chapter in his life. You have to respect that. However, he's with you now and it's understandable that you're upset.

It's going to hurt, but the best thing to do is ignore it. If you've talked yourself blue in the face then that's all you can do! Sometimes people do things like that to bring attention to themselves or that situation. Maybe he needs to talk about it. Talking about it more with him or brining it up casually by gently asking is a good way to not only understand the situation but to help him let go. I would remove the one in your bedroom and hang a mirror there. It's symbolic and unselfish. Good luck.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntIf they are "family", they should've stayed married.

Are they pictures of only him and his ex-wife, or are there kids in the photos as well? If kids are in the photos, I'd allow for some pictures to be up - after all, they are his kids. But if it's just him and his ex-wife, that's just weird.

Tell him that one picture up somewhere is okay, but not in the bedroom - that should be space for only you and him.

Pack the pictures up, if the relationship is over and there are no kids.

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

Why should you have to get used to it? How would he feel if you had photos of your ex about your house? If this relationship is serious and you dont want the photos around then let him know and if he doesnt respect your wishes then you have to decide if you want to stay with him. I wouldnt be too pleased if my bloke had photos of his ex around the house. When i moved in i kept coming across photos, professionally done of her all over the place, he gathered them up and got rid of the lot, now they are all gone. He should respect your wishes, but only if this relationship is serious and going somewhere.

take carexx

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A female reader, PoSiOnKiSS United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2007):

PoSiOnKiSS agony aunti think hes being very selfish, i mean come on its been over a year and still he refuses to take them down. what wud be the problem with putting them away and having a look every now and then? if i was in your shoes i would say 'okay so your obviously not over your ex and your old cosy little family life, so, i think it wud be best we stay friends and you let me know when your ready to start a fresh relationship' that is wat i would say because i would most certianly not feel comofortable with making love to a man when he had pics of his old love in the same room. no way. and for a year! hes taking the p*ss outa you girl. if u dont tell him its either the pics come down or i go then he will not take them down. why shud he take them down, but it will surely move his ass if he realises hes not going to get anywhere in a relationship with them up. the ultimatum question is all urs! he shud have definatly put the past behind him now, no matter how lovely his old life was, because he has most certainly insulted u if he thinks he can start a relationship whilst still living in the past, i surely would be insulted.

hope this helps, dont take no bull! let us know what happens :) x

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A female reader, lilgirly Lebanon +, writes (9 November 2007):

lilgirly agony auntsometimes it is really soo hard to get over your past especialy if there was love!

so i say give him time and he will realise it on his own! but for now always be there for him and show him that you are the best.....

goooood luck byeXXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

it seems as though he doesnt want to get over her. It may be hard for him, so maybe if you deal with it a little bit longer, he'll realize that he has you and you are who he wants. when hes ready he'll take them down. Put a picture of you two up see what happens. If he takes that down then i think you should move on. best of luck....

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntdoes he have kids in the photos?

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A female reader, Mushgirl United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2007):

Mushgirl agony auntWell it depends. What was the reason for their breakup?

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