A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and some months. We have lived together for a year. He has lied to me a couple times before about dumb things, like giving his number out to girls and denying ever talking to them. In my past relationship i was cheated on left and right. I am so scared of trusting my boyfriend because of my past and because of his lies. Everything has been nice and dandy for the past 3 months, he works all the time. I had a habit of looking on his call records (thats how i found out about the lies) but now he changed everything and i cant look at it at all. I feel that hes hiding something from me if he wants his "privacy" but i cant help being paranoid about him lying to me. When i am at work and he is out i get sick just thinking about him ever lying to me again. I dont know what to do?!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, after all the yelling and all the trust problems. We broke up, he said I was too much for him, but I just couldnt trust him. We have been broken up for 6 days and I moved out but he keeps playing with me. One minute he wants to be with me then the next minute he says he needs time to get over all the problems we have had. I am so scared right now bc I put in my 2 weeks notice at work and I am planning on moving back to Florida. Even though my whole family lives up here in Wisconsin. I am devastated and I am willing to work out our problems and he says he is too but he just needs time. But what if within that time he decides he doesnt want to be with me anymore. I am going to be the one who is going to be hurt. I wish everything was different. We keep seeing each other and we both cry nonstop about just knowing we are not going to be together. I just dont get how I am willing to work things out and he has a doubt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): my boyfreind did this and it turned out he did it for a reason, he was seeing a 19 yr old behind my back. my advice, sit down and have a mature talk, ask him and tell him that you want to talk about difficult issues and that you are not accusing you are just explaining and would like him to help you with your problems.don't shout, don't lose your temper, but calm and rationally point out that the basis of any relationship is trust and it has to be earned, you say he's lied to you before, explain how this makes you feel. if he gets annoyed at you have a time out. and as hard as it may be offer him a way out of the relationship, he may not want to hurt your feelings (doh!)good luck,
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (31 July 2007):
 It's obvious you don't trust this guy so why bother continuing your relationship. Move on.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (31 July 2007):
 You have 2 choices. Stay and be miserable or leave him, feel lonely for a while and then be happy. What do you want?
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