A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im sure theres something wrong with me because this keeps playing on my mind and i cant shake it off. i was very good friends with a guy until i discovered he had been lying to me since day 1 -found out through various means and i was very hurt as i really trusted him, helped him through work exams-saved him from getting sacked and helped him way too much financially but i did all this because i thought he was a good friend. he said he viewed me like a sister and i felt very close to him. then i discovered the lies and on confronting him thats when he cut me dead-told me to delete his number and hasnt spoken to me in 6 weeks ?? he bought me a cup of coffee last week for no reason but hasnt barely acknowledged me ! im beyond hurt as i did everything for him and now its like im dead. why has he gone like this ? and also hes become extremely cocky and acts like hes better than me what should i do :(
View related questions:
liar Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (9 December 2011):
 I think this guy sounds like a Sociopath and you were lucky to get out of the situation so easily. Clearly you had romantic feelings for him and he knew this and abused your good nature and trust. Good riddance - don't try and make it up with him or get friendly again as this guy is a user and you are far better off without him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): I dont want to sound like I`m being nasty here, but he`s not obligated to you. I`m sorry you never got what you was hoping for. If you do things or give money to people,it will not make any difference in making them want you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): I'm in a similar situation where a man that I've been involved with up and disappeared and recently we have been back in touch.
Has said things like "i still feel that i deserve a man that can be there"... "had hoped in a strange way that i would have found someone to fill the void in his absence"...
BUT at the end says he DOESN'T want anyone else to have what he had.
this is emotional manipulation IMO.
...............................
A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (8 December 2011):
He is manipulative. You must have had some suspicions if you decided to discover his true nature using various means.
Was this relationship only a friendship, or was it something more to you? Did he seem to give you attention and affection that was lacking in any other friendships and relationships in your life?
It isn't easy to just let something like this go. You gave him your time, assistance, and even money while trying to help a person. When you discovered he was not the person you helped and trusted, you hoped he would at least offer you some explaination for his behavior. Maybe you were even hoping for something more with him in the future? Regardless, you certainly didn't expect him to simply ignore you and treat you like dirt.
He is unfortunately a user. He seems to be a charismatic user, one who abuses his charm to suit his own needs at the time. His behavior and little regard for the hurt he has caused you, and inability to acknowledge you or the sacrifices you made for him borders on psychopathic.
While it may be difficult to begin to heal after this ordeal, you can try to begin this process by counting a few blessings:
You now know the truth about this man.
You know to not give or loan him any money in the future.
You know not to stick out your neck or stake your reputation on him or his work.
You are familiar with his ruses, how he lies, how he manipulates, and you can use this information to ensure he never takes advantage of you again.
Finally, because you have been taken advantage of, you now know that there are warning signs. You can use this experience with him, along with rational thinking to prevent another person from abusing your trust and goodwill in the future.
This is a difficult life lesson. You will heal faster if you limit your time with him to the minimum necessary for work. Avoid answering and texts or calls from him. Trust me, he will call or text you again with some sob story and expect you to help him. Don't let him take advantage of you again. Be strong and you will move forward in almost no time at all.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 You should say "good riddance" and forget about this abuser.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Ignore him and keep him out of your life. This is just another lesson you're learning. Don't loan money and don't be so quick to trust the people who are not your family. You're right, you're not the bad guy. You were taken advantage of. Don't keep thinking about the way he's acting. You have more important things to worry about and he's not worth remembering. He will get what he deserves sooner or later.
...............................
A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (8 December 2011):
There`s only one thing you can do (unless you`re hoping for more), and that is delete him out of your life. Forget him, learn and move on. He`s not been very grateful.
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (8 December 2011):
 There is not a lot you can do. I believe he used you to get help with money and a shoulder to cry on. When you see him next, ask him what the problem is? But, I think he used you. Not a nice person and one to forget.
...............................
|
