A
female
age
30-35,
*odie_Babe
writes:Just to fill you out on the background first:Me and my boyfriend started courting at the slightly young age of thirteen, and now we're fifteen, so we've basically been going out for two years.The first three months of our relationship were normal - happy as can be.Then after say four months of going out with one another he started being violent towards me - pushing me to the ground, pinching and biteing me, all the little things he knew would hurt emotionally as well as physically.He started seeing a shrink after I'd put up with it for two months - and he has never been violent since, but I won't ever forget.Then eight months into the relationship I found out he had been unfaithful on his holidays, and it nearly half killed me - but I carried on going out with him because the truth is I am in love with him.Then we get to the year mark - and well, yeah.. get intimate.So I obviously re-gained my love for him even more than before - but the problem is now I'm paranoid that he might be unfaithful again or when he stops seeing his shrink he may become violent again, what do I do to stop this?Thank-you x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): I think its true when they say once a cheater always a cheater. And for the violence, i think that will only get worse. A partner is there to make you happy. If he was right for you he would never want to see you hurt. He might change but i personally think he wont. You have to think ahead. The question is, will you be happy staying with him and worrying or will you be happier leaving him and being upset but then finding someone who will treat you how you deserve.
good luck x x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Click on my Avitar and go to my Article and read that and reread it then go to the link I provide and learn what you can there.
You are much too young to be settling for this loser.
What you should have done is ended it with him the first time he physically asaulted you.
"When people show you who they are believe them the first time " Maya Angelou
He will never change and it isn't your job to help him, fix him or especially to live in fear.
Get out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Hi,
I agree with both posters. You sound fairly intelligent. You can't do anything to stop this and your fears and doubts are already telling you what to do.
Maybe you should start asking youself why you don't think you deserve better or why you would love someone that is only capable of hurting you. If you have a good relationship with your parents; tell them what is going on. They can give you the support that you need.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, babyblueeyes +, writes (10 January 2010):
My boyfriend started hitting me when I was 18 and I stayed with him for another 13 years, hoping it would stop, but it didnt. Please get out of the relationship. You deserve so much better. You need to concentrate on you and your sekf esteem because it sounds to me as though it is very low at this moment in time, or else you would not put up with this. Imagine someone else in this position. What would you say to them?
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A
female
reader, Aussie girl  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Why did you stay with him when he was treating you like a punching bag? And why the hell did you get further involved with him after he cheated on you? I'm sorry but it baffles me why girls continue to stay with guys who hurt them physically or mentally. Don't you think you deserve better for yourself? I think you do.
It's easy for us to say leave him, we're not in love with him so we don't have rose colored glasses on, but if this is what he's like as a teenager how will he be as an adult? What happens when he stops seeing his shrink, which eventually he will? Don't be a fool, if he loved you he wouldn't hurt you. But if you continue seeing him, which you probably will until he cheats or hurts you really bad, make sure he's using a condom so you are protected from STD'S and pregnancy. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, belle91 +, writes (10 January 2010):
honestly if i was you i would get away from him, women try to convince themselves that the man has changed but the truth is he wont ever change, my dad used to always beat my mum and once she left him she had never been happier! Plus your so young, you will find another guy who treats you much better! xx take care of yourself xx
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Dont be a door mat or a punching bag. Have respect for yourself. Men who are violent often saw their fathers treating their mothers like this so have no respect for women. There is somehting disturbing him and he needs to be cured. I am sure he is a really nice guy but if you distance yourself you may encourage him to get the help that he desperately needs.
He cruel to be kind.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 January 2010):
You really need to stop seeing him. 2 women a week die in Britain because of domestic violent. Granted, he is getting help, but he has also cheated. He's just not worth your time. Don't go into adulthood with an abuser as your boyfriend, because later in life when everyone else is happy you'll wonder what you've done with your life. Don't be second best to a second rate man, when there is a better man out there who won't beat you and cheat on youw.
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