A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK well I started the basic training for my job (Navy) about a year ago, this lasts 3 months and we are told from the start that it is the most intense 3 months you will ever have to work. What happens is you are given a date that you will be recruited and approx 100 people from around the country will be recruited on that same day. These 100 people are pretty much your life, you live with them, eat with them, march with them, perform team building activities, play sports with them, they are pretty much your family. I made some very close friends with some of the boys from the division above me. We go out into the city every weekend together and they are my best mates in the world!! One of the boys in particular..I'll call him Chris for this..I became very close to. We all live on base so when you go out on weekends you have to catch a train into the city unless you have a car, most people do not, however Chris decided to buy one. So I go out on weekends with my boys, we fish, we surf, we go to the races, we go clubbing, we do everything. Normally get a hotel room to stay in and that's how Chris and I got really close. We have gotten together a large number of times, and he comes and visits me in his car when I'm in the city, however he is a bit of a party animal and has not had a relationship for as long as I can remember, and I'm certain that I wont be able to change that anytime soon. Now the twist to this story is that I met his little brother, who is also in the Navy, and we got chatting and he is a great friend, however he really likes me. So much so that when we went home for our holidays (him and chris live about an hour away from me) he, I'll call him Jaiden for this, got a hotel room in my town and wanted me to stay with him. So I stayed and we had some drinks and one thing led to another...now he tells me he loves me and gets very disappointed when I don't say it back, but I don't want to say something that I don't feel. He was hurt very badly in his last relationship and I don't want to hurt him, he is a fantastic friend but I don't want to take it further because I have feelings for Chris. I know that Chris is not a relationship sort of guy but I cant stop thinking about him. I don't want to hurt Jaiden, but I'm really stuck about what to do. I should really Just remove myself from this situation all together, but some advice would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): now i am confused, this post is 10 Jan 2010. when did you submit your original question to DC. seems as though some time has lapsed since you submitted this and when it was posted here on dc.
A
female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Oh well... thats a different ball game now! You definitly should have included that. So you are in a relationship with him... well you got yourself into a bind. Do you want to be with Jaden? If you don't then you you need to tell him. You have to be honest. As far as you thinking of Chris I can only tell you that if you want to keep your relationship with Jaden, you need to stop thinking about Chris. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (10 January 2010):
Yeah, you probably should have known when "Jaiden" mentioned a hotel that something would happen, even if it didn't include sex. But you probably should have told him before hand that you liked him only as friend. Now you are going ot have to explain that to him, just let him down gently. Unless you want him to keep thinking that you two are goin to be an item, you'd better get a move on it too.
I don't know how "Chris" is going to react to any of it, but if you've had sex, chances are he won't be too pleased when he finds out you've slept with his brother. I mean I doubt he'll hate you, but you will probably only be friends, and may not be as close as you once were. For your sake I hope it turns out differently though and maybe it will. I hope that helps a little, I'm just treying to brace you for whats about to come, so I think you should be prepared. Best wishes to you and good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aussie girl +, writes (10 January 2010):
 This is going to end bad if you don't be honest with these guys.Have you told Chris that you slept with his brother? Have you told Jaiden that it was a drunken mistake?
Eventually Chris is going to hear about it, so better to come from you than one of your mates.
Don't try and convince either Chris or yourself that you only slept with him because you couldn't have Chris so he was the next best thing cos that's a crock of shit.
If Chris is around your age, maybe he's just not ready for a relationship, maybe he just wants to focus on his career?
I'd like to be able to say once you tell Chris the truth he's going to realize that he does love you and sweep you off your feet, but he might also be pretty pissed about it. But on the other hand if he is pissed off about it, he must have a little interest in you or he wouldn't care.
This is just one of those shitty situations where you're just going to have to be responsible for your actions and deal with the consequences. Good Luck though.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (10 January 2010):
 As soon as you slept with his brother, your chances for a relationship with Chris went out the door.
You seem to be a nice girl, and I applaud you for serving your country. But as they say, "you made your bed, and now you must sleep in it."
Jeff
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A
female
reader, Sarah2485  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 stay away from them both you and chris can never work now you have been intimate with his brother.. and you obviously dont want his brother.. even if you did you would feel awkward about seeing his brother because of how chris probably feels about you..!
i have been in a situation with brothers before, dated a guy he hurt me a lot we split up i still loved him we still were seeing each other on and off .. bumped into his brother on a night out things happened we started seeing each other a bit (no sex with either tho!) my ex found out.. other things happened.. but now i dont speak or see either of them and thats the best way, luckily it didnt affect thier relationship and they currently live together still i think.. but really stay away from them both they are family dont ruin thier relationship.. i know its hard but do it x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUm I'm not dim..I probably should have mentioned that I'm kind of in a relationship with 'Jaiden' now. The hotel incident happened about 6 months ago, and after that we started seeing each other..and I know its wrong but I cant stop thinking about Chris
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 So, you are in love with one guy, and agree to stay in a hotel room with his brother... Either you are a bit dim or you knew that sex was going to happen, with the brother of the guy you claim to love.
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