A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:two years ago i had started my first job when i had met dave. as soon as i had seen him i was infatuated by him. within a couple of days knowing him i had made up my mind that i liked him, even though i knew he had been dating someone for a year and a half.as time went on we had both grew very strong feelings for eachother and he had confessed to me that he liked me but nothing is going to come between him and his girlfriend. and by this time they had been dating for 3 years now. i know everyone says this but i have truely and honestly never had as strong as feelings for someone as i do for dave, i actually believe that one day we will be married with children, but im guessing that is just wishfull thinking. basically i am madly inlove with him. anywase along the road we had started to meet up and fool around but it was only once in a blue moon, and then as soon as we left eachother he would text me and tell me that it was never going to happen again and he feels soo bad for what he has done to his gf and to me. then about a week later he will ask me to fool around again. he has ended up cheating on his girlfriend countless times and throughout this whole process he has been giving me mixed emotions, playing with my heart, like for instance as soon as he finds out i am seeing someone else he will start to try and get close with me again so that i dont forget about him, even though he has no intentions of leaving his girlfriend. and as soon as he sees me with another guy he imediatley speaks badly about them. i really would appreciate it if someone could help me out here with some advice. i've been hurting for soo long now but at the same time i love every minuete of it, and everyone i talk to tells me to move on and i need to stay away from him, but as much as i try to the more it seems impossible to do. its unbelievably hard, the hardest thing i have ever done as i have also lost my virginty to dave and alot of my dignity. pleaaase just please give me some sincere advice and think about both sides. thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, belladonna123  +, writes (19 August 2008):
No darling, no. Get away from him, you're playing with fire here. It's not going to happen you and him. People tend to want what they can't have, sometimes, so just get over the infatuation and move. You're young, you don't need this,good luck!
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 You need to lose this guy, pronto.
Let me make you a list. He:
- cheats on his girlfriend.
- either doesn't have the bollocks to leave his girlfriend for you, or is just using you for sex - my bet is the latter.
- doesn't seem to want you to associate with other guys
- only wants you when he can't have you
Does this really sound like the kind of lad you want?
I understand that you are probably completely smitten with him - you have liked him for ages, you lost your virginity to him, you feel like you have a bond. But I can assure you that, sadly, he is nowhere near as committed as you are. You said yourself that you are hurting - is that not enough of an indication that he's no good for you?
It will be hard to cut this guy out of your life, but that is what you neeeeeeed to do. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he crawls back to you and swears his undying love - you need to do it for you own sake. Find a guy who'll treat you right.
I wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, The Listener  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 I would advise trying to 'ban' him from your life for a while. Get a new mobile number and if possible avoid him at work (if you still work with him). Don't fool around with him again, at all, he is using you like a sex toy. He knows that you'll be there whenever he wants mess around without having the complication of a real relationship, but his girlfriend will always come before you and he is disrespecting both you and her. Get out! Start seeing other guys and ignore what he says about them and/or you. You may think you are madly in love with him but he is treating you like dirt and you shouldn't let it continue, let alone have started in the first place when you knew he had a girlfriend. I just feel sorry for her being stuck with a selfish pig of a boyfriend.
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