A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem...I have just started dating a guy I went to school with. He is really close friends with this other girl we went to school with and who I am still friends with. The problem is, they are so close and I am really jealous. Not only are they close, he used to (and maybe still does?) like her more then a friend. My friend told me that he said to her 'if you ever break up with your bf, you know ill be waiting for you'. She said she doesnt like him like that, so although I know that means nothing will probably happen with them, I cant help but feel jealous that he has those feelings for her and is so close to her when he is going out with me. He goes over her house late at night and will stay till the early hours in the morning. She is the person he will call if he is upset, and he is the person she will call if she needs someone to talk to...she wont call me (her friend) or her bf. she will call my bf! I just feel like i cant compete. any advice?
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female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 yikes. so i've been on both sides of that story.
my best guy friend and i were like that. we hooked up one night and never brought it up again because it was just awkward but once he got a girlfriend, although i tried being super nice to her and tried to show her i am no competition, i think he was given a choice. and he chose her. and we don't talk anymore. which hurts, but i'm okay with it because i see how happy the two of them are.
you could give your boyfriend an ultimatum and trust that the girl will react as well as i did.
on the other hand, the guy i'm talking to is like that with his best girl friends. and it bothers me to no end!!! because they aren't just good friends, they say "i love you" which is no good. i told him flat out i wasn't comfortable with it, he said things would change. i got home from vacation this morning and noticed things haven't.
so i told him i'm not speaking with him until he gets his act together.
you can't really do that since you are dating the guy, but... talk to him about it. if things don't change, figure out whether you are happy in a relationship with things the way they are or not.
in any case, i don't like that he is going over in the middle of the night for your sake. that is not really proper boyfriend behavior.
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