| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and i are in our mid to late twenties and have been together for almost a year. We truly love each other and I feel he is the one. We constantly are there for one another and and really love each other.With that being said without too much detail he does have a best friend that parties constantly, drinks, hooks up, drugs. It does make me uncomfortable and it's not the lifestyle i want in my future. I don't want a partner who is going to go out partying a few days a week and getting drunk. It hasn't been happening but it is something he used to do and it makes me wonder and sometimes feel anxious thinking that it will happen with the summer approaching.My significant other has joked here and there saying I don't like him which obviously means he truly thinks that. I have been nothing but nice to the friend and always social and treat him with kindness. It does make me feel uncomfortable in terms of the partying and honestly i don't think he is the greatest influence.He joked with me again and I finally became serious asking why does he keep saying that to me and also said i won't lie about the fact that him wanting to go out all the time drinking etc does make me uncomfortable but i like him as a person and i am always friendly since he is your friend.Was it wrong to express these thoughts? I don't want it to push my boyfriend towards this friend even more. The friend really doesn't make me feel comfortable with his behavior but I have been trying to respect their friendship at the same time. Was it wrong to express these thoughts and will it drive my partner to that lifestyle as well?
View related questions:
best friend, drugs, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maisy1  +, writes (15 May 2013):
Hi i think Zippy made a good point. Its not so much about you not wanting him to go out without you or anything like that, but rather you have simply outgrown that lifestyle and want your BF to do the same.
Bad influence best friends are always a concern in a way. I know how it feels and i agree that there comes a stage where we start to see the bigger picture as a relationship becomes more serious.
All you can do is see what happens and hope that he doesnt go back to that lifestyle. I would discuss your concerns but dont lay the law down too much else he may start feeling smothered and do the things you dont want him to.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (15 May 2013):
 Well to be honest I think you have just created an issue out of nothing! You have said yourself, your boyfriend isnt partying and drinking all the time - it is just his friend that does this and so far your boyfriend hasnt joined him.
Until your boyfriend starts partying multiple times a week, then there really is no issue. So if he starts doing this, then yes talk to him about it and express your unhappiness. But until then stop getting worked up about nothing!
Creating pointless issues just leads to your boyfriend getting upset or angry, then you having an argument when the reality is nothing has happened yet!
This is just drama for drama's sake at the moment - stop judging your boyfriend until he does something that upsets you. Right now everything is fine, so relax, stop getting so worked up and just enjoy being together. The more you turn into a crazy controlling girlfriend the more you will push your boyfriend away, so be the nice happy relaxed girlfriend until something bad actually happens.
...............................
|
