A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up on Saturday. It was so abrupt I've been in such shock ( the gist of it being I thought he was the one, he didn't feel the same anymore so I left)So far I've been doing ok, quite up and down but generally alright, until this morning when it's all come crashing down on me. I cannot believe its over and he let me go, we were just amazing together, he used to love me so much.So this morning I broke my resolve and called him for the first time since we broke up. He didn't answer and I hate myself.Has anyone got any advice to keep me going, or tips to stay strong? I love him so so much, if he doesn't want to be with me I even want that for him I want him to be happy that badly. But it hurts just so so much that he hasn't been in touch, we've been best friends for so much longer than we've been together... Please, anything anyone has to offer in way of advice or consolation will help so much right now, I feel so alone and heartbroken.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much everyone for your help and kind words. I am feling much much better after following all of your advice! Thank you so much!!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Wonderful advice from all.
I also recommend to distract yourself as much as possible. I have found in my own experience, that the pain passes with time, and while you should address your pain - writing it out in a journal is what I like to do - you should also fill your time with tons of distraction, because there is no sense in stewing in your own grief. That, I have found, only draws out the process. Distract, distract, distract!
Breakups are rough. Everyone's hurts a little differently. Good luck, sweetness!
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (27 March 2012):
 hes being cruel to be kind no contact is kind
you will go through stages same as grieving and once you pass anger your on the way to recovery It wont be fast but take a day at a time keep busy be good to you There will be somebody new for you one day or 3 or 4 and he will be a distant memory Eat ice cream drive your friends nuts go out when your ready get him out of your system
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Sorry to hear about your breakup *hugs*Even though it was the right thing to do in that he didn't feel the same anymore, it doesn't mean it won't hurt and take some time to process and get over.Sadly, people and life brings change...you have been handling it well, except now when it came crashing down on you. When that happens, turn to family or friends to talk about it, and do not call him again. Especially as you ended it because you felt he was the one, but he didn't. So let him go. You deserve more, and better!Don't hate yourself, or be critical of how you are handling it. You are only human, your heart is broken, and this is the time to love yourself. To look after yourself mentally and physically, to connect with others and find other pleasures in life again, and when thoughts of him return, allow the time to cry and then to heal. It may take time, but it will pass. It will be difficult to remain friends after everything. Again, perhaps in time it will be possible, but don't worry about the friendship/ex situation for now. Rather focus on other parts of your life, so that you can slowly ease him out of your life completely. You are still special, don't lose hope. For now, know you are not alone, many people go through it all over the world at one time or another. It does not make you any less, it just means he wasn't the right one for you. Someone will be, one day, when you are ready and when the time is right. So for now, know there is hope, and you will love and laugh again one day! Hold onto that belief, and be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself if you enjoy that, take time out for you, and soon you will feel better again.There is also a great article at http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up with steps such as:1) Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively2) Don't rethink your decision3) Keep your space4) Cope with the pain appropriately5) Deal with the hate phase6) Talk to your friends7) Write all your feelings down8) Make a list of reminders9) Out with the old, in with the new10)Remove memory triggers11)Find happiness in other areas of your life12)Stay active13)Let go of the negative emotions14)Remind yourself of the negative thingsI hope this helps!Wishing you the comfort of knowing you are not alone, and the future happiness you desire.xxxx E
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Here's my advice: In a lifetime of, say, 70 years (typical for us, these days), a week or two is really only "the blink of an eye." YOU can endure a little upset and frustration for that long in order to let this bit of drama play out.... AND - as it plays out - you can get a handle on where you and this guy really are, and how you really feel about one-another.... Get a good book and spend the next day or two reading it!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): It is very early days and you are totally raw at the moment. Don't contact him again, as I'm sure you know, it will only make you feel worse. He may be avoiding you, as he doesn't want to have a pointless conversation at this time. You have to tell yourself that you are going to feel bad for sometime but that you will get over it and you will be happy again. Stop thinking in terms of The One - there are many people with life experience who know there isn't just one person out there who can be very special. Plan some things to look forward to, a holiday or shopping trip and basically be kind to yourself - but you are allowed to comes to terms with it gradually, it will take time.
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