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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boy friend have been together for 2 years with a 3 month split in the middle because he is joining the army. Whilst waiting to go in the army he has got a job at a sport shop. Previously i found out that a girl called "julie" fancied him. this didnt bother me because no girl wants a bf that no one else fancies. he was over at my house the other day and i was joking around and said something that wasnt very nice i ws joking but straight away i knew it hurt him. i appologised repeatedly but he was still upset wit me. i went down stairs and took a pic of myself pulling a sad face and said sorry as many times as the message would allow me to. i went up stairs looked at his phone and he had a message. he read it but i wernt the one from me, he said it was his mate askin if he was out at the weekend. i didnt think anything of it until he was looking in his message box to see if my message had come through and there was a message from "julie" not "adam". i read the message and it was nothing to worry about but why did he lie? why did he give this girl his number? surely giving your number to someone who fancies you is leading them on! what do i do? should i be worried? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2006): thanks for all the advice, we spoke about it and he kept assuring me there was nothin to worry bout, he told me yes2day that she had invited him to her birthday party and he said he was going to go, i told him i ddnt want him to go and he said he wouldnt, i now feel guilty that im stopping him going out with his mates from work but i couldnt stand it if i knew he was out with her, what do i do?
A
female
reader, wnabe_ctygrl +, writes (3 March 2006):
It could be anything....did you discuss it with him? if you dont like it when he is keeping secrets from you, then do you think it is good for both of you if you just keep your feelings inside? Talk to him. Thats all you got to do.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (2 March 2006):
 Well, it isn't good that he lied about who he got a text from. I'm not sure why he would lie. I think the fact that he gave a girl his number is less important than him lying about who sent a text. Did you ask him straightaway when you first saw it why he lied about who he got a text from? I think being direct and just asking him about it is the best way to gauge his intentions. He may get defensive, but if he starts lying about the little things, when does it stop? It is probably ok that he gave a girl his number. You said the message was nothing, so it probably is. Maybe they hit it off as friends and her interst in friendship was mistaken for a crush. Who knows? But the fact that he lied about it is something that needs to be addressed. It may just be that his last girlfriend was a jealous psycho and he was worried you would overreact. Either way, the only way to clear it up is to discuss it and tell him that you don't mind if he has female friends, but you need him to always be honest with you if he wants the relationship to work.
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