A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]My ex and i were together for just 6 months. I hadnt seen him for many years before we got together and both of us had a lot of expectations we couldnt live up to. I was on edge the whole time because I felt like i couldnt live up to the fantasy he had of me and this affected my behaviour.It was his idea to finish it and although i was upset I kind of agreed as it hadnt turned out the way I had hoped either. We decided to be friends and this has been going really well so far - a bit too well. He texts me every other day (much more than I ever text him). We often meet for drinks at his suggestion and now after I was talking about needing a holiday he has suggested going away for the weekend together. This is all purely platonic and we are not sleeping together.Im very sure he is seeing someone else (although we havent talked about that) but Im confused as to why he is still so friendly with me. On my part Im sticking around to get to know him properly and hoping if things are meant to be they will work out. But Im really confused as to what he gets out of this? If he is seeing other people he cant be interested in me that way yet it feels like he is paying me far more attention than just a friend would. His communication is never flirtatious and I dont understand why he would want to go away with me when he seeing someone else??What do you think his motives are for remaining so close to me?
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female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 I think his wanting to go away with you if he is seeing someone else is weird. He obviously still wants you in his life, it seems that he is trying to play both women and have you both.
If you are OK with this fine, but if I were you, I would be dating other men and I wouldn't be going away with him either, but that's me. If he doesn't want the relationship that you want, then I think you are being unfair to yourself to continue this "friendship", he either needs to poop or get off the pot. As long as you continue contact, you won't be able to heal and move on to another healthier relationship where your needs are getting met by a man who wants you romantically and for the long haul, not as some sort of back up plan.
Don't assume he is seeing someone else, ask him point blank, and ask if you can meet her, if you are the "friend" and she is the girlfriend, ask to meet her...and see what he says.
A
female
reader, iloveyhoo +, writes (8 August 2010):
 He really likes you as a friend, but he just fell out of love with you?
Alsoo, he might have seen people brake up, and say their going to be friends, then they dont and how awkward it turns out. and he doesnt want that to happen to you?
can you try and answer my question about summer romance on my profile please?
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