A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm having lots of problems with depression and with my current relationship and was seeing a therapist but couldn't afford to continue.Anyway, I've been writing in a diary to get out what I'm thinking and realized that a couple of memories I have that I've always thought of as harmless may not have been. I just don't know.I have a sister who is three years older than me and I love her a lot. She's my favorite member of my family. I don't really talk to her very often anymore. Maybe once every two months or so.Anyway, when we were kids, I remember her wanting to play some jail game and me agreeing. She "bossed" me around- she was my big sister and i usually did what she said. Anyway, she ordered me to kiss near her genitals. I was a kid and didn't understand any of this. I quickly pecked her pelvis a few inches above her genitals. I don't even remember seeing them. That's as much as I remember about that incident.I'm not angry about it. I don't feel anything, really. It's just a memory I have.Then later, when I was a little older, I remember one instance of repeatedly exposing my penis to her in amusing ways to make her laugh. My parents came in and put an end to it.I've read on here that it's more normal than people think for young siblings to do these sorts of things. Is it?I don't remember any other situations with my sister that may have been sexual. My family never talked about sex or relationships (or much of anything).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Thank you for your answers. I feel depressed for an unrelated reason. I didn't know about United Way. Therapy was helping me and I will certainly look into what they have to offer. Thank you.
I don't think about the situation with my sister much at all. Hardly ever, in fact. No, that's not the reason we never talk. I hardly ever talk to anyone in my family. We are all very closed-off to each other. I've never really confronted this memory before, but it just seems harmless.
I know I am in denial about some other things, so I will just have to wait and think about it.
Thank you all very much for your replies and I wish you all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): you are not alone - me and my bro did some not very sibling like things as kids. Just pure ignorance and exploration on our part, still love each other to bits and hasn't personally done us any harm :)
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A
male
reader, werther  +, writes (8 August 2010):
hi, i have recently also adressed similar situations of my own,as i thought about them alot for myself , my therapist told me that if it bothers you deal with it, so i did, i confronted my sibling and demanded an apology and got it. our situations are different ( i was foreced or tricked , also theage difference was bigger)
but i think they have alot of similarities.
if you think about it alot, then talk to her....
you say you don´t feel anything? really?
that is also a defense mechanism, so look into yourself, sit down and listen to yourself as you go through that memory, relax and see what you find.....
does this get in the way of your relationship now?
is that why you don´t talk?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Hello!
First off, don't worry!! Its something that most kids do. Kids get curious and don't understand 'taboo's'. Most kids do stuff like it when they're young!
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Well, I'm no expert, but I think this is somewhat typical of childish behavior and learning about social boundaries and the confusing experimentation of our own bodies.
I wouldn't make a big deal over this, it was a couple of isolated incidents and did not repeat itself or cause further problems. So forget those incidents and focus on the main issues at hand, your depression.
I hope that you can continue with your therapy if you think it was helping. If you can't afford it there are agencies and therapists who work on a sliding scale based on your ability to pay, like the United Way for instance...I think they still have programs, but you can check with a Mental Health Association in your area.
And if you still feel depressed I hope that you are talking to your family physician about this and that they are prescribing medication. Now days, no one has to live life in utter depression, there are some very good medications for that.
Take care.
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