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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for 20months and love him alot but im not sure i should be with him anyore he drinks every night and we always end up falling out because he has got pissed he always finishes the relationship but then says sorry the next day and ends up getting me back during the relationship he has been found out to be txtin and ringin other girls and i was told her had cheated on me i have very low self esteem and confidence and do not have any friends anymore as he never wanted me to see them he tells me alot of lies so im parnoyed and dont trust him he doesnt show any emotion apart from anger and i do get scared incase he lashes out at me as he smashes up his house when angry hes now sayin he wants children with me but i dont want children as im not sure that i want to be with him. i do love him but i dont no what to do part of me wants to be with him still but another part things that i shouldnt please giv me your advice whtat would you do??
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cheated on me, confidence, self esteem, want children Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tray-Lou  +, writes (25 August 2007):
you shouldnt be with someone who gives you no confidence he obviously doesnt want you to be happy if he likes putting you down, please do not have children with this man as they do not deserve to be brought up in this environment of course you love him but sometimes we need to take a step back and be selfish and think of yourself and try and get your own life back as painful as break ups can be i think that eventually you will find yourself better off and find somebody who makes you feel good about yourself and special and sexy as we should all be able to feel that way whether we are in a relationship or notinstead of him finishing the relationship you should and make it the first step you take in taking control back of your lifeyou deserve bettergood luck and get out and make some new friends
A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (25 August 2007):
He sounds just like my partner, who I am trying to leave again as we speak. These men are bad news, very controlling and take over your life. The longer you stay with him the harder it is to break free. Sometimes you wonder why women stay with blokes like this but they make it very difficult for you to leave them (threaten you etc.) sometimes it is just easier to stay. You don't want to be like that trust me! I have two kids with my mad man which makes things even harder. Do not have kids with him!!! If you read your question again as if someone else had posted it the answer would be quite obvious, but when your actually in this situation sometimes you just don't want to accept that things haven't worked out, especially if you still love him. You have to move on, be strong, and good luck.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (24 August 2007):
 If you need permission from someone to leave this guy, you certainly have it from us. Run like your ass is on fire. Or, the next time he leaves you, let him go. Don't answer the phone (change your number!) don't answer his text messages and don't answer the door! This guy is bad news, and in your heart you know it.
Start doing something that will help you feel better about yourself. Join a club. Take a class. Play a sport. Anything you enjoy, and that makes you feel good about yourself. Confidence is sexy. Don't worry that you don't have someone in your life. When you're feeling better about yourself, Mr. Right will find you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): Ummm....it's pretty obvious what you do here..you leave him...you've said nothing positive about this guy so what else can we tell you?
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A
female
reader, roxyxxx +, writes (24 August 2007):
I don't mean to sound too forward but you really would be better off without him before you lose all your confidence and trust in men full stop, and if he's talking about having children!
no-one deserves to be treated that way, and from the sounds of things, you've put up with a far too much already!!
It must be really hard when you love someone but know it's better for the both of you that you go your seperate ways, even more so when you have lost contact with your friends but it's times like these you discover who your real friends are; i know it's easy to say but i think it's now for you to decide, either carry on living the way you are and possibly having children with him, which means you will always have him in your life, or get out while you can, be you again, enjoy life and in the long term, if it's what you both want you could still keep in touch.
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