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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am so unhappy. I am 26. I was seeing a guy (Mr A) (24) and we only met up on 4 occasions, we weren't really well suited so it didn't work out and kind of fizzled out. Before this happened tho I met his friend (Mr B)(25) and there was an instant attraction and connection - sparks! We got on so well. Mr A actually left me on the last night we met to go out with his friends including Mr B, which was not very polite of him to just abandon me anyway! I was with a female friend but it was still out of line. He was too tired and had to get up early he said! He left me with Mr B and we got on so well. Mr A and I never slept together. I started seeing Mr B after it was clear there was nothing going on between Mr A and I. But even tho it was never serious between us Mr A got very upset about this. We never even went behind his back! Mr B and I were having a great time but Mr A refused to be freinds with Mr B while he was seeing me! He is very insecure apparently. As they have been friends years he feels he should put Mr A first. He says it will be easier for him to be with someone which will cause less hassle. I am so devastated. He wants us to be friends still and see if it all calms down as our group of friends (not including Mr A) all get on very well together. Every guy I get with it seems to go wrong I really am beside myself as there always seems to be some silly situation. I don't think I will ever be happy. He is the first guy I fell for in a year.Thanks for advice. xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Dang and they say girls have drama. Mr. A is not a good friend to Mr. B because he let go of what you didn't have in the first place and allow his friend to be happy.He sounds like a big baby that needs to grow up for not talking to a friend as long as he is with you. If I was Mr. B, I'd tell Mr. A, here's a bottle, now go pout by yourself. I mean it, you had a few dates, no sex, no chance of a long term relationship. Mr. A and Mr. B have a problem in their friendship, they need to deal with this problem. I would say Mr. A displayed abnormal behavior, but Mr. B lets him do it. Remember people will play us as far as we allow them too. As long as Mr. B is wiped to Mr. A this problem will continue.I feel for you with this going on, It's hard when you have a male friend and it almost seems as if their married to their friend. On the flip side of all this. If he really likes you as you do him, and he couldn't stand up to his friend to keep you and grow this relationship, how do you expect him to man enough to stand up for you any other time.
A
female
reader, kikicupid  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Oh dear that really is a tough one, poor you!But dont lose hope i think that MrB is correct by suggesting to give it time.Perhaps MrA is insecure and surprised that this happened even though it was clear that it wasnt working out between you two,but giving it time might help Mr A to get used to the situation, or at least get him over you! In a way i see why MrA feels this way, he probably feels rejected by you and feels as if his best mate is better than him, and in a way thats a bit hard to deal with. And also it shows that MrB is quite a genuine guy and would not hurt his best friend, and therefore is quite loyal...which probably makes him even more perfect, which is a pain! But it truly seems like you need to give them time, for both to get used to it and for MrA to eventually realise hes being silly and that you two didnt really have anything to begin with. So just be patient...if you really want to give MrB a try, give it a couple of months and see...If after a while MrA still wont budge, then you will have to move on unfortunately. Looking at it positively, if MrB did not listen to his friend and just went out with you, you would constantly be in the middle of their fights and that you will eventually be blamed for breaking their friendship up and you do not want to be in this situation as MrB will eventually resent you. You will be the better person to simply wait a little as mentioned before, give MrA time.
Good luck hun!xxx
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