A
female
age
41-50,
*iteowlchick
writes:So I met someone online (in an online game), we had talked for almost a month as friends and then we decided to just hang out. Come to find out, he left his girlfriend of 5 years, whom he was living with, for me. I was not happy to hear that, we didn't even know each other.So, we had a few dates in the last couple months and we ended up sleeping together. It's not a normal thing for me to sleep with people I'm not exclusive with but it happened and I can't hold regrets. Anyway, I was upfront with him the whole time about the fact that I don't want a boyfriend, I need to focus on school right now. He said he understood. Then the more I got to know him I realized I couldn't ever see myself with him seriously, so I let him know.We decided to be friends but he keeps bringing up the fact that he's waiting for me and how "perfect" I am. He is constantly IM'ing, texting or calling me, wanting to see me all the time, although I also told him I can't stand neediness and clingy people!I have tried to be nice but at this point I don't think I can even be friends with him. I was having a normal online conversation and he started cybering me. The weird thing was he used the word "violently" alot and even wanted to slap me in the face. I kinda just walked away and came back and changed the subject, I was thrown off. One of my issues I had was that he had been abused and witnessed alot of it when he was younger, and after that Im session I just got a bad vibe :(.He appears to be a really nice guy and says he cares about me alot but obviously we can't be friends and he is not getting it! It's stressing me out. I have tried to be upfront so I dunno what to do now :(. Any advice??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Plutonious +, writes (27 February 2009):
Can I say "bug a boo!" three times.
- I would have to agree with the answers with this one.
change your phone number, block all his calls, don't answer don't text back NO NOTHING.
take him off of your online friend's list. block his communication there too.
Meeting someone online is never the best deal. I've seen it happen to my cousin and it was just the worse idea front and back.
If somehow he gets in contact with you after all the changes you've done to blcok his calls or any sort of communication take legal actions.
A
male
reader, Ed1337  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 You need to get strict with him, tell him if he doesn't accept that you can only be friends, you will have to cut contact with him, so no more cybering or constant texting and calling. If he still keeps trying to cyber you and won't leave you alone, then you will have to take action yourself. Block him from IM and report him to your phone company. I know its harsh, but he needs move on and get over you.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple +, writes (25 February 2009):
Sleeping with someone who you don’t want to be with who has strong enough feelings for you to end a 5 year relationship was a bad move but you know that right? I suggest telling him one more time firmly not to contact you. If he persists block him from contacting you in anyway you can (email address, phone number, MSN messenger etc) and keep a log of when and how he contacts you in case he continues to harrass you. If he doesn’t leave you alone then it’s time to get the police involved. Often a warning from them is enough to stop people contacting you. It may sounds harsh especially if he is a nice guy but if someone carries on contacting you when you have told them not to then it is harrassment.
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