A
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age
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*oodman
writes:I am almost 81, my wife is almost 88. Mona has 6 grown children from a previous marriage. Since we met 17 years ago we have always professed our love for each other. We have never wished not to be together.Although there never was any cause to prompt such action the daughter did not accept her mother's meeting another man and reacted vigorously to their plans to marry. She began a "terrorist" campaign and spread malicious lies which were fully investigated by the RCMP and City Police and found groundless. There is a litany of outrageous episodes involving attempted extortion, duplicity, mischief, obtaining money by false pretences etc. all fully documented. My wife loves her daughter, blaming others for the bad behavior. She kept the other family members in the dark for years which allowed the daughter to spread the lies until considerable stress caused me to seek medical treatment in another country. In all this we never considered breaking our marriage vows, emailing or telephoning each day. There are hundreds of emails filed.Family members have now taken my wife to live alone in the town of her childhood. It is cold and windy and she is not happy. She told me she must do as she is told otherwise she will be denied access to her grandchildren. I believe her. I wish to bring conspiracy to alienate affection charges in civil court. Please advise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): Inheritance money and family sentimental things cause major problems.So, you have been with this lady for 17 years,which is a long time to be with someone.I would arrange for the family to get together,each with an advisor to bring everything out in the open. Life is not going to gone on forever.Get it sorted.If you are married ,they are wasting their time keeping her away from you.Even if she makes a will,it could be stated that it was under duress.Also,even if not married but can prove a relationship,again a will can be challenged.What would be fab,is if you did that,then won,then helped the family.Hopefully they would then be embarrassed.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Thanks, Didda123. I cringed a bit when I read the question. I have had to witness 1 bad situation, and I experienced 1 potentially bad situation as well as pssibly another one in the process.
A rich aunt, who had two adopted children, was isolated by one of his children in her later years in life. He took over all the money and property she had. The older adopted child fortunately had made their own money (husband is a solicitor) so she was not worried about inheritance. A blessing in disguise for my aunt, she developed Alzheimer so we hoped she did not recognize the "cruel intentions" of her son. Her daughter then was only able to visit her when her brother was out of the house.
I am adopted, and my "uncles and aunts" from my adopted father had mentioned several times, that in Islam (of which our families are), inheritance comes over blood family lines. Most of them have passed away now, and my "cousins" who are well established (and well educated) are no longer concerned about this. But, my birth siblings, are just the opposite. They said that since I was already adopted out, I no longer had no right to any inheritance from my birth parents (who have also passed away). Same religion, opposite views of inheritance laws LOL
OK, enough of my own story. My suggestion then is, if the children's concerns is mainly inheritance, then draw up legal papers that clearly showed who owns what. (sorry, layman lingo here). That way, they can only get their hands on her estate, not yours. If and when she runs out of her estate, you can still take care of her without having to fight with her children and grandchildren.
And, if you are able to be with her, can you join her where she is? Windy and cold can be fixed (insulation, better care facilities, etc). But warmth from you is irreplaceable. When you have all the papers drawn that shows you are not financially dependent upon her, her family should no longer have any right to "fight" you.
If you had already the right paperwork and procedures that showed you did nothing wrong, you should feel confident that this one legal step [of drawing papers identifying her estate and your own estate in details separately) should secure your place to be with your wife again.
I personally think her family is cruel to separate her from you, specially since you sound like such a loving person. But I also understand her wanting to be with her own family. Both of you are in a tough position, but if you can afford to make the decision to be near her, I think you need to be with her.
I hope you can find a good solicitor with integrity and generous heart that can help you live your golden years as you deserve. My [adopted] parents are octogenarians too, and they cannot be apart from each other for more than half a day!
Best of luck (hugs and kisses to you too)
Cat
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A
male
reader, goodman +, writes (25 February 2009):
goodman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK I think it might help if I explained that for many years I despised my step daughter because she was "wicked". I am fortunate to have a fine lawyer listened to my detailed story some years ago and pointed me in the direction of understanding a mental condition called Borderline Personality Disorder. I did that. Now I do not believe in wickedness as such. BPD's are most loving creatures most of the time and try so very hard to deal with the demons that possess them very occasionally. BPD cannot be clinically diagnosed except by a psychiatrist or a close family member.
It is my view that a civil trial would allow this factor to induce a judge to order the troubled party to take the medications necessary to calm them.
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 No i am sure it is legit wonderingcat just the poster starts his second paragraph from the daughter's point of view.
Anyway i think this is a terrible situation, granted they may be concerned for their elderly mother but you have had a relationship with her for over 17 years now and i can't quite understand why they should object it is your wife's decision who she falls in love with after all and you were exceptionally younger when you met so even if is ailing now in some way she would have been in good health then.
It is unbelievable and positively cruel for them to move your wife away from them and effectively end your relationship, she must be suffering such stress.
Is you wife in good health? She could make things so much easier by standing up to he family but if she feels unable i think you may be able to take the civil court approach but you should seek advice and i think some sort of mediator would help to approach the family and get you all talking.
I sincerely hope you can resolve all of your family issues.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (25 February 2009):
Is this you, or is this a member of the "feuding" family writing this question? I have a gut feeling that something does not add up here.
Cat
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A
female
reader, goodgracious  +, writes (25 February 2009):
I have no answer and no words for your outrageous and sad situation, but i sincerely wish you the best of luck.
god bless.
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